Monday, July 31, 2006

Why I Married This Man...

You may recall in a past post I wrote about a minor meltdown in Baby Depot because Jeff did not like my choice in baby bedding. It was all a scam. I put the poor man through the ringer because he was trying to surprise me. I suck!

So I came home on Friday to a giant bag on the kitchen table with a card for me. (It was my birthday but I thought we had just decided to go to the mall and pick out a nice maternity dress for my gift.) I opened the bag and there was my French poodle bedding set, the one I had my heart set on, the one Jeff supposedly didn't like. (See the link below, this is not where we got it from, they have it at Baby Depot and online at Target but the picture is best on this overpriced Web site.)

I was so surprised and then I started to cry, yes again, because I thought he had bought me this bedding that he didn't like and I didn't want to have a nursery he hated. He told me it had all been a ruse, he liked the bedding but he had decided to buy it as a gift so he didn't want me to buy it that day. So alas, all's well that ends well and I have a very good husband.

Thanks to all of you who have helped me decipher the universe of baby needs...swings and bouncers and car seats oh my! My friend Jeanette gave me practical, real life baby tested advice and my friend Britt gave me a list. You know how I feel about lists. I could practically color code it and die right now. I had dinner with another friend who is pregnant this weekend and she had some good recommendations that she had gotten as well. See, you ask for guidance and God provides. I promise to all of my friends when you have babies I will make you lovely color coded product specific lists in return for all of the graciousness I have been shown.

The other good news is that this week's food obsession - bye bye bagels - is salad. I have yet to have a really healthy food need so I am going to ride this as long as possible.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

M is for Mom , N is for Newborn, O is for Overwhelmed

Jeff and I have been trying to talk about budgets and figuring out how much we want to spend on all of the baby stuff. You can get a little crazy if you don't keep an eye on things. I think the baby business is designed that way. So as we determine what we need I don't even know what to put on the list. Things I know - crib, mattress, bedding, dresser/changer, rocking chair, diapers, clothes, pacifiers, bottles and stuff for breast feeding (I don't know exactly what that entails but I will have a whole class on that from the hospital.) That is it. What else does one need, I know a car seat and a stroller I assume, but when do you need a high chair? What other stuff do you need? What is a nice to have but not a must? I don't know enough other people who have had babies so I don't know how to even figure all of this stuff out. I searched for a newborn checklist on the Internet but all the lists I found are put out by stores. Again, they think I need way more things than I probably really do. Oh and by the way it says I need washcloths, how many six or sixty? I need a guide. Anyone know of a good book? See, you can see it happening right before your very eyes, I am getting the snowball effect. What started as a little snowball is turning in to an avalanche and then it all lands at the bottom of the hill with a loud kersplat and an OHMYGOSHWHATAMIDOING!!??!!??!!??

Okay deep breaths, deep calming pre-natal yoga breaths. I have a few books at home, maybe I will look in there? If all else fails I will watch the elimination episode of So You Think You Can Dance and bury my head in the reality TV sand.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Chester Cheetah

I actually brought the ultrasound pictures to work today. I felt a little cheesy because when I see them even I have a hard time making them out but the one of her sucking her thumb really is pretty cute. I never thought I would be the person who shares ultrasound pictures with the world but I guess you learn something new about yourself all of the time. I am a cheeseball!

Things seem to be going along pretty well except for I had a few sort of psychotic moments over the weekend. I think I just get overwhelmed with the whole crib/bedding/nursery stuff. I start seeing all of these choices and I can't decide what I like or what I should get. Should we get a $300 convertible crib or should we get the $180 regular crib? What about mattresses and bedding should it be pink or should it be more neutral? I realize that in the grand scheme of things this really isn't a big deal but when I am standing in Baby Depot and Jeff is telling me he doesn't like the one I have my heart set on I turn in to a crazy lady. I cry which makes Jeff feel bad and then I start to miss my mom. I don't know that one has anything to do with the other but I think if my mom were here she would have words of wisdom and she would LOVE to go to five baby stores with me just to look. (Jeff does not so much LOVE this and I don't think he even really likes it.) I am sure it will all work itself out and no one will tell me I picked the wrong dust ruffle or the wrong crib, I just want everything to be safe and nice for the baby.

I just had the weirdest experience. As I looked up from writing this I saw a dove outside my office window. I am convinced that doves are a symbol of my mom. When we were having the backyard redone with her inheritance money, every time I interviewed a contractor there was a dove that would sit on my window sill. On Friday when I got home from the ultrasound there were two doves in the driveway. Whenever I get particularly stressed or sad or scared I see a dove and it just lets me know I am cared for by my heavenly father even though my earthly mother is gone. It brings me some level of comfort. God is good.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice

Well we finally got power on Saturday but since Jeff had been three whole days without a fantasy baseball sighting, computer time was hard to come by. So today I shall post about the ultrasound...

It was such a wild and crazy experience. First of all I should not have drank nearly as much water as I did but in classic Erika fashion I thought if they say 24 oz in one hour I will try to make it at least 40 oz. just to be on the safe side. (Supposedly the fuller your bladder the better they can see everything.) With the fullness of my bladder they should have just been able to see straight through me without the machine. The tech said she had never seen such a full bladder. Because of this I was fairly miserable during the whole experience because I had to pee like no other. So next time I will just follow the instructions.

It is a little bit weird. You lay down, they rub some goo on your belly and suddenly you are see through. It is the oddest thing. They would say here is the arm and that really looked like an arm or at least an x-ray of an arm. Then they would say this if the stomach and bladder. That looked more like an ink blot. We saw the baby's hands and feet as well as all of the major organs and they said that everything looked really good. Then at the end of the exam they said that the only minor thing was a cyst on the chortoid in the brain. It didn't sound very minor to me at the time. They said that it is a little thing and the only reason they were bringing it up is because it can be a marker for a disease called Trisomy 18 which is a very severe genetic disorder. They offered us an amniocentesis which would tell us conclusively that it was or wasn't this disease but then they said that 1\200 amnios result in loss of the baby. Not very good odds in my book. Luckily we had a doctors appointment right after this so they told us to talk things over with our doctor.

Thank goodness for our doctor. She basically said not to be scared that this cyst if that really is what it is, is probably no big deal. She had never delivered a baby with Trisomy 18 that you did not know conclusively from the ultrasound that that is what it was. This cyst is one marker out of like six and the other five markers were not there. To reassure everyone she is ordering another ultrasound for 6-8 weeks and she bets the cyst will be gone. So we still feel pretty positive but it certainly gives us a very specific prayer request.

In all of this we also found out that it is a girl! What a relief since we could not agree on a boy name. Emilia Mae will probably be her name barring any sort of craziness between now and December. They confirmed our due date for 12/10 and said the baby is approximately 12 oz. Which is normal. So in September I will probably have another ultrasound but in the meantime please pray for Emmy that the cyst would clear itself up and that she would be healthy.

One final note about the power - I think it was God's way of telling me to clean out the refrigerator. Just as I finished scrubbing the last shelf the power came back on. Now when I open the door to the fridge I am downright gleeful!

Friday, July 21, 2006

It's Electric!

Jeff was singing the theme song to the Electric Slide this morning but the words had been changed to go something like this...(Hum along) Can't watch the TV - it's electric, boogie woogey woogey, don't have no AC - it's electric, boogie woogey woogey... We have now been without power for 36 hours. We had severe storms rip through The Lou on Wednesday night and lost power at around 7:00 p.m. We have not opened the refrigerator since in the hopes that the cool would stay inside and help decrease the spoilage. It is about 85 in the house which is not as bad as it could be considering it was 98 outside yesterday. We have been sleeping in the basement, it is sort of like a camping trip mixed with a Little House on the Prairie episode. We went to bed at 8:30 last night because well it was pitch dark in the basement but too hot to be upstairs so we talked about how we want to get new windows and then drifted off to dreamland right as someone was getting kicked off of SYTYCD. I was most upset about the fact that Wednesday and Thursday are pivotal TV nights for me and as Jeff astutely sang, the TIVO is also electric. UGH!!!!!

Well, folks, today is the big day. I am forming my drinking plan for the day and it started with a decaf iced latte from Starbucks. That is as good a way as any to begin my crazy liquid ingestion phase. I really don't feel any anxiety currently. God has blessed me with a lot of peace about the situation. No matter what we find out I know God is in control and He will help me figure out what's next. Now I am just excited to be able to see the bean I hope it is not shy. I have a weird sense that it is a boy but hopefully we will know more this afternoon. I will do a post-appointment post if we have electricity when I get home otherwise it will have to wait until Monday.

Have a good Friday and good luck trying to get the Electric Slide song out of your head...

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

The Doctor Said it Would be Like This

So as of my last doctor's appointment I had not gained any weight. I had lost weight initially from being so sick and then I gained that back to bring me back to where I started. The doctor said watch out for the next month you will just wake up one day and have a belly sprouting out. Well on Monday I was five days away from my next doctor's appointment and still no real sign of "the belly." Then Monday night I felt like my belly was a little bit bigger, probably too much snacking during the day. (The belly is very sensitive to how much I eat - too many bowls of cereal and I look like a bloated pig.)

Then I woke up on Tuesday and looked like a 50 year old man who had been drinking three beers a day for most of his natural life. You know that man, he looks normal from the back but turns around and looks like he swallowed a beach ball. I now look like that man, except exchange a beach ball for a watermelon, laying longways on my abdomen. It is very odd. I have not weighed myself yet to see what sort of gain I am looking at but it sure feels like a lot. Several people commented to me yesterday that now I look pregnant. I wanted to say well good at least I don't just look fat, but I refrained.

The ultrasound is this Friday and I am both excited and anxious. I have been praying every morning before I get out of bed that the bean is healthy and strong. I know God is listening but I am anxious to see more of His plan for our family. Oh the joys of modern medicine. Okay so the other weird thing about the ultrasound - you have to have a full bladder for it to work. I don't know why but I do know I have to drink 24 oz of water in the hour before the appointment. How I will be able to sit through the ultrasound without going to the restroom is beyond me. Should make for some fun times.

I will post on Friday after the appointment what we found out.

Now I am off to balance all of my program budgets. YIPPEE!

Monday, July 17, 2006

Why Being Pregnant Alternately RULES/SUCKS

Being pregnant rules because you always have something to talk about, no matter who you meet, take for instance Albert Pujols. For those of my friends who don't live in STL, Albert is the Cardinals first baseman, leading home run hitter and overall deity of St. Louis. Jeff and I went to an event for the Pujols Family Foundation on Saturday night. It was a great father son bowling event in conjunction with the St. Louis Down Syndrome Association. The kids looked like they were having an amazing time. Everyone was knee deep in pizza, ice cream and cosmic bowling. You can't really ask for much more. Jeff and I had the honor of actually meeting Albert and his wife at this event via Jeff's contact at the Foundation. (Another awesome guy!) Albert was so kind and asked me when I was due and how far along I was. I knew that there was a chance we would meet him that night and I was worried because I tend to get stupid in those types of situations and start saying things like "How bout those Cardinals!?!" But having the bean to talk about instantly made things more comfortable. Side Note: I couldn't stop staring at his teeth, they are lovely. I kept thinking he should smile more when he is playing baseball. Jeff informed me that he is probably pretty intense when he is on the field (DUH!) and that smiling probably does not add to his overall threat to the opposing team. Good point.

Being pregnant sucks because nothing fits right and I still get the pukes every now and again. My old clothes don't so much fit but maternity clothes still have this puffy belly that I need to grow in to. I feel like Goldi Locks without a bed that is just right. I did buy a cute top this weekend. I have a meeting coming up for one of my clients that involves all of the creatives from the various agencies. I always try to wear something that says "I am smart and strategic and completely creative without being a poser." Yes I do understand that I actually am a poser by virtue of the fact that I try to find an outfit that says that I am not, but that is okay with me. Only I know that, well and all of you know that but none of them know that, so it is okay.

I was also very upset that I threw up my IHOP strawberry french toast yesterday. It was so good going down, I was sad to see it come up. You win some you lose some.

Friday, July 14, 2006

Lucky Penny Part Two

Penny and I had a delightful visit. I met her outside as she was pulling up and the first thing she said was "look at your little belly." Maybe my belly is in better shape than I previously thought. I adore her boyfriend. He makes her visibly happy and I can't ask for anything more, plus he has this fabulous Scottish accent that makes him all the more likeable.

We went out to dinner and there was never a break in conversation - it was fun and relaxed and just downright pleasant. Our other houseguests had a late baseball game and another one early this morning so there was no clash of the houseguests as I had feared. We didn't even have to draw straws for the bathroom. YIPPEE!

The other major plus is I got to watch So You Think You Can Dance (SYTYCD) and Rock Star Supernova and get some work done before she even got there. All things considered Thursday was a banner day.

We are expecting record heat here in St. Louis all weekend which may be a good excuse to go to the mall - it is air conditioned. I will try to pull this off on Jeff and see how it goes. Definitely glad we finished the bulk of the yardwork last weekend.

I think I may have felt the baby move this morning. People say it feels a lot like gas pains with no actual gas so it is hard to know what is what especially with my looney digestive system, but I think it was the bean. I felt it first thing when I woke up as though it was saying good morning. I thought maybe I felt something last week too but I am more sure of this morning's feelings than last weeks. I wish my belly would just light up or something so I know what is what. Okay I suppose I ought to actually do some work today so I better get to it.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Lucky Penny

So today my best friend Penny is coming to visit. She and her boyfriend are moving to Nashville and stopping for a quick overnight visit on their way there. I am so excited but nervous at the same time. She has been my best friend since 7th grade and could care less what my house or appearence looks like but I still want everything to be perfect. ( I even washed my hair for the occasion, you know how much I hate doing that since pregnancy brought me a case of the frizzies.) I haven't seen her in over a year and she is the first new person to see the belly. (Sad little state that it is.) I just look fat and puffy as opposed to cute and preggo.

Jeff and I are going to the Tim McGraw/Faith Hill concert tomorrow. Yippee! I love me some Tim McGraw. I suppose it is okay that he brought his wife along this time, but next time I want a solo tour. I will write on Monday about how lovely he was and how ok she way.

I signed up for my childbirth classes and a breastfeeding class. I figure I am all about instructions so I will take everything I can get before the bean comes in to the world. They don't start until September so I have some time to study up before I go.

By the way I have so much TV to catch up on it is not even funny. Wednesday is like my reality TV bliss night but I have Bible study so I can't watch anything. Dear God, thank you for the TIVO and the person who invented it and the genius folks behind Project Runway and So You Think You Can Dance. I am enjoying Rock Star Supernova, although I believe it borders on hedonistic so I will try to enjoy it less than the rest of the things I TIVO during Bible study. XOXO, E

That's it for now, I am off to tidy up the house, watch my TV shows, pretend to work and await Penny's arrival.

Friday, July 07, 2006

Belly Thoughts

I wish I looked more pregnant. Right now I just look fat. I have always been more on the Kate Winslet side than the Kate Moss side so I am not one of those pregnant women who looks like I swallowed a basketball. I have just sort of expanded around the midsection to the point where regular jeans are uncomfortable if I have to sit down but maternity jeans are just a bit overkill. I wish I had a nice round belly. I know I should be grateful that I have stopped throwing up and am actually gaining any weight at all. I am also not gaining much weight which should make "losing the baby weight" easier when all is said and done but I want to be a cute pregnant woman. I don't want people to look at me cross-eyed when I order a virgin daiquiri.

In other news I am starting to be anxious about the ultrasound. It is coming up on July 21 and I am excited to see everything and learn about the baby's progression and sex but I am also nervous. I want the baby to be healthy and growing well. I t think that is another reason I worry about the belly. What if the baby isn't growing and that is why my belly isn't getting bigger? I need to look up how big the baby should be right now. I suppose my belly wouldn't have to get much bigger to accommodate the bean since I probably have enough room in my belly for a flippin watermelon.

I know in about three months I will probably look back at this post and discuss how "crazy" I was for wishing I was bigger but such is life.


So as I lay in bed last night, my mind full of Rock Star Supernova (more on that later), I begin to think about my blog. My thoughts went something like this...
1. How fun, I made a blog
2. Now what?
3. I should develop rules for my blog

That was pretty much where I landed. I need rules. As much as I like to say rules are for other people (that really only applies to parking) I need rules. Rules help me set boundaries and give me a place to act out my rebellion by breaking them. So here are my rules.

-I will not write anything that I would not want my mother to see. My mother is gone from this earth but her rules of good taste (barring her love of fart jokes) still apply.
-I will not write anything overly personal about my friends. If they wanted to share their lives with others they would have their own blog.
-I will not write defamatory things about my place of employment. I don't always love my job but I have never been fired from anything and I don't want to start now.
-I will try to stay focused on pregnant life at least for now. I need to have a focus otherwise this will turn in to a blog about reality television and my passion for So You Think You Can Dance.

Those are my rules I will try to stick to them. I reserve the right to abridge my rules at any time if necessary.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Still blogging...

I was just trying to see if I could figure out how to get back here and post again. Alas I have found my way; those breadcrumbs in my keyboard definitely helped. (okay so maybe those are just leftovers from my hot pocket.)

I have figured out why I decided to blog today...

I feel GREAT! No, not just good, not just non-pukey, but genuinely great. I am not tired, I don't feel sick to my stomach and I don't want to cry - for any reason. This is a banner day in the history of my pregnancy. On top of that I am getting my haircut tonight so I will undoubtedly look just like Sandra Bullock tomorrow. (That is the magazine picture I am taking my stylist so certainly she will make me look just like her. Although, through the years I have taken my stylists pictures of everyone from Alyssa Milano to Britney Spears and I never have ended up looking like them. I get a great haircut but that is about it. I suppose I should just be happy I didn't end up looking like Britney as she is looking a bit rough lately.)

Okay enough blogging for today... although this is fun stuff!

Look ma, I'm blogging...

So I am not entirely sure why I started a blog or why I chose today to do it, but here I am blogging. I am pregnant which is not revolutionary in and of itself, millions of women have done it before me (shoot, my mother-in-law has done it 16 times) but it seemed like the type of thing you would want to journal about. I journaled after my mom died and all it did was make my hand tired so I have decided to go this route. Skip the baby journal, I am blogging.

You may wonder about the title of my blog. My husband is known as "The Moc" (rhymes with smoke) and so I was by default Mrs. Moc so I decided to be Moc mom.

I am not sure what else to write about, I am alternately filled with about 57 paragraphs worth of stuff I feel like I should share and at the same time cautious of not assuming that the world would care a rat's tail about even one of those 57 paragraphs. I will have to think it over and find a happy medium. For now, hello world.