MOTY

To: Mother of the Year Committee
From: Erika Mochal
Re: Nomination

To Whom it May Concern:

I am writing to you to submit myself for consideration as Mother of the Year. In spite of the fact that I have recently thought about selling my children to the gypsies and leaving my newborn in the baby aisle at Target, I believe I am qualified for this honor due to last night's turn of events. Emelia has been dealing with constipation, welcome to my family's genes. She had a pretty painful bout on Monday when she had not pooped in four days and we had to resort to a glycerin suppository. (Not so fun but highly efficient.) Last night while I was feeding Samuel I heard her crying for mommy. Jeff said she wanted mommy to fix the poop. So I finished with Samuel, put him down for the night (awake no less, God love him for putting himself to sleep) and headed downstairs with another suppository swearing I was going to buy super high fiber bread. I got her up on the changing table and she was crying pretty hard and opened her diaper to find her little rectum expanded with poop poking out but sorta stuck. Oh no! There was no where for the suppository to go as the opening was blocked with poop. She was in so much pain so without thinking twice, I stuck my finger in there and dug out the poop. Poor thing was sweating like a pig when we finished but she was all done and in ten minutes was happy again. I learned two valuable lessons from this experience. My kid needs more fiber and no matter how tough things get or how hard it is I love my children and would do anything for them. As stated in article 10, section two of the motherhood code, manual poop removal is grounds for instantaneous Mother of the Year status and a glass of wine.

Thank you for your consideration in this matter.

Sincerely Erika Mochal