Emelia is two years old today. I just can't believe it. She constantly amazes me, sometimes in not so good ways but mostly I just marvel at how she has become this little person. I love her so much and I could never have imagined that I would feel this way. I have loved a lot in my life. I love my husband more now than I did in the giddy first months of our courtship and I loved my mom more than I can say but I have just been blind sided by my love for Emelia. It is so powerful and unexpected and it just creeps up on you.
Yesterday she said hey mom and I turned around and said "what honey" and I could distinctly "hear" that same exchange between my mother and I and it took my breath away. I am now the mom. I don't know that I thought I would never be a mom but it was not something that I spent a lot of time longing for. Now that I am I can not imagine ever not being who I am today. As I think about adding another child to our family my fear is t hat I couldn't possibly love this new baby the way that I love Emelia because my heart just doesn't have room for that much overpowering love. I know God will fix that but it still nags at me none the less.
I remember so distinctly when she was little and I couldn't wait to see who she would be. i wanted to see what sort of personality she would have and it is slowly emerging. She loves animals and is very passionate about things - ELMO, books, jelly beans. Often she will tell me "Mommy I NEED jelly beans." She likes to cuddle and does well with a routine. (Thank goodness!) She likes to sing and hates to be confined, like in a shopping cart for instance. (Whoa is me this is a new and really tough challenge.) She is so smart and has a terrific memory. Yesterday we were looking at an alphabet picture book and she turned to the page for x and declared "look mom a xylophone." I mean really where did she learn the word xylophone? Currently if you ask her what color something is everything is green. Jeff is convinced she is colorblind. She likes to swing at the park and asks to do so every day. She is just a terrific child. Yes she gives me fits sometimes and yes there are days I miss the freedom of being a dual-income-no-kids couple but I would never go back.
I can't wait to see what the next year brings.
2 comments:
happy birthday miss em! your birthday surprise is on its way! hope we get to dance together soon!
It was fun to read this post, E. I hope Em had a fantastic day! She's a doll. And I don't think Ryan would have been able to recognize the object in the book as a xylophone. :)
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