Thursday, April 03, 2008

Burnin' Down the House

Women of Faith this weekend was great. Thuy and I had such a good time, so did the guys. Nothing says fun like watching baseball, going to Costco and babysitting. : )

Women of Faith was really different this time for me. Last time I went it was a few months after my mom had passed away and I was in such a fragile emotional place. This time I definitely felt less emotionally but I also felt more tested by some of the topics. The one thing that I keep reflecting on is a drama about the verse in James that talks about a tongue being like a flame. The dramatist showed how harsh words to your family members can set your house on fire and leave burn marks that never completely heal. The actual verse from the Bible is this.

James 3:4-6 "4 And a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong. 5 In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches.

But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. 6 And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself."

I was really convicted by the drama. When I am overwhelmed or frustrated, I say mean things. I know that is terrible and in this moment I can recognize that it is terrible but when the baby is crying and the dog is barking and the pasta water is boiling over, my tongue is scorching. I yell at whoever, the baby, the dog, my husband. I would be ashamed if any of my friends heard me - the mean hostile tone of my voice, the piercing words - yet I unleash them on the people I love most on this earth. Why is it that we are the meanest to the people we love the most? Is it because we know they will forgive us? I don't know what it is but I know that the things I say in the heat of that moment are still with Jeff and one day they will remain with Emelia as well. That is why I am really going to start praying that God helps me hold my tongue. I have been working on not getting hostile when something frustrating happens and I am getting better at letting go of things. But I will never completely be able to stay calm, so I need to react without the terrible tongue. I don't think we stop to think about how powerful our words are, I am trying to fully understand the weight of the words I choose and I am trying to choose words that don't burn down my house.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I loved this post, my friend. I'm going to email you something longer about it...

Love you and hope you have a blessed day!

Stephanie said...

I know, it's funny you should write this. Our whole sermon was about the tongue on Sunday, and all 15 or so reasons you should watch were from the book of James. It seems that short little book in the Bible sure has a lot of wisdom in it about how we are to live our lives. It's hard, isn't it? I'm the same way, just so you know. We can work on it together!

Holly said...

count me in too - this is one of those subjects that God is choosing to remind me of over and over again lately (this is the fifth instance, unrelated, in the last two weeks - no joke)
gossip, harsh words to family, lies to myself about life's focus, etc...
pollution.