Fifteen months is fun

Not everyday is fun but she is fun right now. It is like I can see her brain making connections. The other day I was cleaning our bedroom and bathroom and she was upstairs playing in my jewelry box. (This used to be one of my favorite things to do when I was a kid.) I gave her two bracelets and she put them on her arm and then walked around with her arm in the air so they wouldn't fall off. Today I blew her a kiss and she blew one back to me. She has full blown conversations with herself or other kids and she sounds so sincere. I can't understand what she is saying but her tone sounds just like a real person. It really is fun. She is having some sleep issues and we are trying to break away from the binky which is not fun, but for me, so far this is the best age. I think it has less to do with age and more to do with stage.

Her are some new pictures. Would you look at this little outfit we wore to church last week.

Seriously!


Clipping Coupons - I am starting her early

Pigtails... I could eat them up - so cute!

Motherhood

Well, we are back from Minneapolis and I am actually appreciating the Omaha weather. Today was lovely. I put on my flip flops even though my toes were offended they were not given more notice to get ready for sandal weather.

This is an email I got from a friend and it cracked me up. It is so true.

Recently, I was diagnosed with C. A. A. D. D. - Child Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:
I decide to do the laundry. As I start toward the basement, I notice that there are cheerios all over the floor and my house keys are in the cereal bowl. I decide to pick up the cheerios before I do the laundry. I lay my keys down on the counter, put the cheerios in the trash can under the counter, and notice that the trash can is full. So, I decide to take out the trash.
But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the trash I may as well pay the bills first. I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only one check left, my extra checks are in my desk in the office, so I go to my desk where I find a sippy cup full of juice. I'm going to look for my checks, but first I decide I should put the sippy cup in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the sippy cup a plant on the counter catches my eye--it needs to be watered. I set the sippy cup on the counter, and I discover baby wipes that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back in the bathroom, but first I'm going to water the plants. I set the wipes back down, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote, left on the kitchen table.
I realize that when I go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the plants. I splash some water on the plant, but most of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back down, get some paper towels and wipe up the spill. Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day: the laundry isn't washed, the bills aren't paid, there is a warm cup of juice sitting on the counter, the plants aren't watered, there is still only one check in my check book, I can't find the remote, I can't find the wipes, and I don't remember what I did with my keys.
Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail. Do me a favor, will you? Forward this message, because I don't remember to whom it has been sent.

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming.

Recycling

I decided to clean out the car and car seat while Miss Em is napping this morning and I swear I vacuumed up an entire box of Cheerios/Life Cereal. I really thought about scooping them all up by hand and putting them in a snack cup to be eaten later but I thought that might be a bit extreme.

By the way last night I had a dream involving John McCain, my eighth grade boyfriend, my mom, my high school boyfriend's mom and a car pool in New York City. Clearly the enchiladas for dinner did me wrong. : )

Molars suck!

Yes, I know technically we need them to chew food and stuff but really must Emelia get all four of them at the same time. (Upon further reflection though this may be good because then we won't have to do this again.) The only thing that makes her happy right now is Sesame Street. I am sure I have already screwed her up by letting her watch TV so I might as well go all the way and allow a Sesame Street marathon.

An ode to Omaha's Weather

What a delight, Spring is finally in sight
No need to put on your mittens or bundle up tight
It is 60 outside, a good day for the park
Take advantage while you can, it may be a lark
The forecast for Sunday is forty degrees
That's not so bad, we still won't freeze

Off to church I go with just a warm sweater
The sun warms my face, I feel so much better
After the service the wind starts to pick up
It's really quite chilly, where's my warm coffee cup?
The weather man says we hit our high at eight
Soon the rain will start and snow is our fate

I don't understand, I just don't get it
One day was lovely, the next requires a jacket
I should be happy with the tiniest glimmer of spring
Because who knows what tomorrow will bring

The best husband

I really do have a great husband. For Valentine's day we decided not to get each other anything because money has been a little bit tight with paying two mortgages gas bills, etc. (We finally sold the house by the way - hooray!) So on Valentine's day he gave me a card with a note in it that said I needed to reserve the weekend of March 6-9. Well the other day he gave me the surprise. He has booked a weekend for us as a family in Minneapolis and he got me two prepaid Visa gift cards to spend at Mall of America. It was such a nice and thoughtful gift. We will get to see his sister and have time as a family and it will be nice because it has been a long time since I have bought anything for myself besides the occasional $6 clearance sweater at Target. I have already started making a list of the things I may buy with my gift card. He also got a gift card for the baby so I won't be tempted to spend my cards on her. (I do that a lot.)

In other news I scored at the resale shop - yes again. I have been looking for a Bounce and Spin Zebra ever since she rode it at a friend's house and loved it. I was ready to give in and buy a new one but it is really hard to spend $40 on a new toy. I found one at Once Upon a Child for $20. YAHOO!!! I wish I could find a good grown up resale shop. Maybe then I would wear something besides track suits.

Count your blessings

Howdy y'all, we are back from Texas and we had a great time. We did everything I wanted to do - hang out with good friends, go to Target and eat Chick-fil-A. The flights were so much better than I could have ever hoped for. God blessed us each step of the way. I often hear the phrase count your blessings, so I am going to...

1. I was able to have the car seat in a seat on each leg of the trip even though on my last (and longest) flight it meant an off-duty pilot sitting in the jump seat because the plane was completely full.

2. A really kind worker got me some milk for the baby so that I didn't have to try to stand in the really long line with a really short layover.

3. As I walked up to security in San Antonio they opened a new lane so there was no traffic trying to get through which was the only time I had to do it by myself.

4. The baby fussed for a total of about 20 minutes out of all of the flights. I sang her the theme to Elmo's World 50 times over and she calmed down but only as long as I was singing. Thank goodness we were sitting over the engines so my fellow flyers did not have to endure it.

5. We had a small delay in Dallas yesterday which allowed us time to get dinner, something I was concerned about.

6. Perfect strangers helped get my car seat on board on my two outbound flights.

7. Emelia charmed people every where we went which made people more compassionate toward our cause when we were boarding.

It really was great. Thank you for all of the prayers and tips. It turned out better than I could have hoped for. Since I failed to take the camera (big loser) I will have to post pictures when my friend sends me some.

Crazy Days

Yesterday I finally really felt better and went to the gym. An hour by myself out of the house felt like such a luxury. On the way home I realized that while I was sick I missed traffic school. CRAP!!!!! I called and they are going to be kind enough to let me make it up for another $98. Yuck, but what can I do. At least I won't have to take points on my license. Speaking of which I really need to get a Nebraska license. I will wait for a good hair day.

Speaking of good hair, Miss Thing had some serious bed head and I had to capture it on film. She also now enjoys playing peek a boo from behind the table, it is pretty darn cute.

Where is the Lysol?

So on Friday Jeff went back to work and on Friday night I came down with a stomach bug. Started with the vomiting then moved on through so I didn't know which end to take care of. UGH! I just kept praying that the baby would be fine but on Saturday morning she threw up all over Jeff four times. God love him everytime she threw up he immediately threw the offending item in to the laundry. I think we did six loads of wash with three things in each load. Her beloved blankie got washed each time. : )

By Sunday we had stopped throwing up but we were all still tired. Apparently though Em got too much daytime sleep because this morning she woke up at 5:00. UGH again! Right now I feel like a zombie but I am hoping if I pretend like it is a normal day it will be a normal day.

Today more than anything I miss my mom. I think it is because when I was sick I just wanted my mom. I wanted to call her and say come take care of me and the baby. Give Jeff a break and I know she would have, even if it meant driving six hours. February 14 is the anniversary of her death and so this time of year is tough. It is difficult to accept that she is gone and hard for me to believe that it has been three years. I still get weepy a lot and I would have thought that would have gone away by now but I think it won't ever go away until I get to heaven and God takes the tears. I don't have a very clear picture of exactly what heaven is like so sometimes I anthropomorphize it and imagine my mom drinking coffee with my grandparents. Coffeetime was a good time around the house. It meant a warm cup of coffee or pop in a coffee mug for me and home made cookies. When we went to visit my grandparents that is a memory that is very clear for me. Sometimes I have trouble because I can still so vividly see how she looked when she was sick. The last days were so bad and she was not herself. She couldn't remember her birthday or where she was. At one point I heard her rummaging about at 4:00 in the morning and God love her she had gotten up and gotten herself dressed because she was convinced she was going to breakfast with my Aunt Marlene. The days leading up to February 14 feel sort of like Holy week for me. Each day I remember another thing about the time before her death. Then when I think of her actual death it is more of a joy because at the end I prayed for God to take her home because I knew she would never be well again.

Mommy I miss you so much and I wish you could see our baby girl. She is just like you, full of life and ready to go at 6:00 in the morning. You would have loved her mommy, we watch Sesame Street just like we used to and I can finally understand how you could love me so much. I am sorry for the times I broke your heart like when I was sixteen and when I got the tatoo. I was right though, the nurses in the hospital never did say anything about it when I had my baby, there was no need for you to worry, not one of them thought I was a biker. I love you mommy and I can't wait to see you again.

Anxiety

I am going to visit a friend in Texas and I am having terrible anxiety about taking Emelia on the plane. I didn't buy a seat for her because it was pretty expensive but I am hoping the plane is not full and they will let me put my carseat in a seat next to me. She is so active I am not sure how I am going to keep her on my lap. Does any one have any thoughts on this subject? Please pray for me. I know it is going to suck I just hope it doesn't suck too bad.

What's worse

a husband with strep throat or 5 inches of snow? Poor Jeff is hardly ever sick but he came home yesterday just miserable and barely slept last night. Sent him to the doctor today and he came home with a "very positive" strep test and a prescription for the world's largest antibiotic. This means he is miserable and contagious so I have no baby backup. God bless Em she must have known and took a 2.5 hour nap today. Sweet baby girl is either thoughtful or on her way to getting sick. We will pretend she is thoughtful. Meanwhile it snowed all day yesterday which is no longer a big deal for me except when my dear husband can not shovel. I tried today but I pretty much suck at it.

I did busy myself during my snow day hanging new pictures. Here is my favorite one. This was taken at my friend's wedding and it captures the essence of our relationship.

I'm over it

I am done obsessing about the nap situation. It does no good and it makes me ugly to be around and not a good mommy. She will sleep when she sleeps, and if she doesn't we will do something else. The rest of the day will just need to be flexible until (if we ever do) get a handle on things.

Jeff said something to me yesterday that broke my heart. He said "it feels like I am as important as whether or not Emelia's clothes match." (We were late for church and I was deriding his choice of outfits for her instead of celebrating the fact that he dressed her at all.) Clearly I did not make the right choice in that situation. It is so easy for me to see now but in the moment it all feels so pressing and urgent. I think I am just a freak. We were talking about it and Jeff said try to focus on what is important and I said the problem is, to me everything is important. Then he made the comment about the matching clothes and I thought about how ridiculous that sounds.

I just pray that God will help me get past this perfect phase I am in and help me remember that the dishes are not as important as playtime. My relationship with my aerobics instructor is not as important as my relationship with my husband. My success in the eyes of others is not as important as my success in the eyes of my heavenly father.

To Nap or not to nap

I will tell you that for me the hardest part of being a mom is the change of routine. You see I am fairly type A, in the same way that the north pole is fairly cold. Because of that I like routine and so does my child. The last month or so has been a real trick because naptime and the delightful routine that went with it is gone. You see, she used to nap at 9:45 for an hour sometimes more and then again at 2:45 for about 45 minutes. Then she stopped wanting to go down for the afternoon nap or she just sat in her crib and talked to herself then worked up to crying until I came and got her. So I thought okay, maybe she is ready to transition to one nap. I tried moving her morning nap back in fifteen minute increments the way the book said and it seemed to be working for about two days. Then she didn't want to go down for a nap at all. So I have been struggling to figure it out and typically getting one 45 minute to hour long nap a day if I am lucky. In the meantime she is pretty fussy in the morning while I am at the gym. It is hard to know if that is because I am leaving her with childcare or what. i have often thought I should try to go back to a two nap schedule but then I say " nope, not going backwards." Well yesterday I gave in.

She fell asleep on the way home from the gym and so I drove downtown to meet Jeff for lunch so she got in an hour there. Then I put her down around 2:30 and she slept for about an hour. This morning I put her down at 9:30 and she slept for almost an hour and a half. I tried putting her down this afternoon and was unsuccessful, I tried again right now and she is till upstairs crying, we will see how long that lasts. I know she is tired as she fell asleep while I was reading to her but then cried as soon as I put her in the crib. UGH! The worst part is just not knowing what is the right thing for her. I suppose one day the worst thing will be knowing what the right thing for her is and having to watch as she does something different.

Omaha is not that bad

I have only just begun to watch the Omaha auditions on American Idol and I looked at Jeff and said, " no one is ever going to come visit us."

CHOICE

Ok, disclaimer, I have a lot of stuff rattling around inside my head and maybe 20 more minutes of nap to get it out. My spelling may be bad - it is actually my typing, I am a great speller and my grammar may be worse but this is important for me to put out there so you all can keep me accountable and I can come back and review.

I have had a very insightful weekend. I went to a women's conference at a church here with some friends and I learned a lot. Oddly enough what I learned was about men, mainly my husband but probably all men. I learned that my words are the most powerful device I have. Women in our society often grow up believing sex is their best weapon. Through no fault of my parents I certainly did and frankly it turned in to a weapon of mass desturction for me. In all actuality though our words are far more powerful than any of that craziness. Men want to be respected and my husband is no exception and yet so often I don't respect Jeff. Not because I don't actually respect him and not because I mean to be disrespectful, but mostly because I am frustrated about (fill in the balnk) and I need someone to take it out on and he is there. The baby and the dog have sometimes taken this role too but they are not as good since they don't talk back.

As I started to process what the speaker was saying the word choice came up a lot. She talked about choosing to see a disagreement not as right and wrong but simply a difference of opinion. At one point a women got up and asked what I was thinking. "Okay I get what you are saying, but what if he really is wrong?" I am known to be pretty stubborn and to almost always think my way is right which in turn means that every other way must be wrong. The speaker said that 95% of the time if you can take a step back and choose not to go down the path of right vs. wrong you will see it is just a different way of looking at something or doing something. That is so true especially for me. Usually the outcome I want to see is the same wether we use my way or Jeff's, but again, my way is right.

Not anymore.

The word choice played over and over again in my head and I realized that all of life is a choice. I have made some great choices - God, Jeff, all my friends, those awesome black and pink cowboy boots in 10th grade. I have also made some awful choices - alcohol, boys, the cut off jean shorts I wore with the awsome cowboy boots and mostly bitterness. If I choose to flip my perspectiive and keep hold of my blessings then the hostility can not take over. Yes we moved and yes it is cold and yes I have sad days but by and large I am tremendously blessed. It really is true that God times of trial t perfect your faith and teach perseverance, because honestly the time that my blessings were the clearest were in the days after my mother dies. When she died a part of me died and I missed her more than I can adequately express, I still do really, but I knew one day I would see her again and when I did she would have hair and she wouldn't be sick and we could eat french fries again. So if in the hardest days of my life I could find blessing then why can't I find it now? The answer is because I am choosing not to. I am choosing to give in to fear, doubt and self-pity.

Not anymore.

So I made myself an acronym because I like an acronym almost as much as I like a list. It is probably a little hoakie, but when things feel tense I can hear it in my head and hopefully I will make betters choices.

C -Capture
H - Hostility
O - Offer
I - Instead
C - Christ's
E - Endless Grace

If God can offer me grace after the countless bad choices I have made then I can certainly offer a sliver of grace to the people I love and care about.

Then Sunday came, yes all of this came bursting forth in one day. On Sunday we went back to the first chrch we had tried and I felt it. I felt that gentle vibration where my whole body says yes this is it. God took me to the other churches so I could find Holly and Stephanie and the gang that make me feel like a good mom and a real person. The sermon on Sunday was about the passage where Jesus washes the feet of the disciples. Jesus came to serve not to be served and then it hit me. I have been looking at a church and saying what does this church have to offer me? Are there women's ministries and mom activities and what about Jeff is their men's ministry thriving? What I should have been asking is what do I have for this church. Can my God given gifts have an impact at this church? God is funny like that. One day, one sermon and it all turns around.

God is good and I am thankful for the choices He gives me. I pray each day for the grace to make a better choice than I made the day before.

I just called to say I love you

at least I would if my phone was not dead and completely unresponsive to the charger. Devastated, that is the only word I can use to describe my feelings about it. My cell phone houses everyone's phone numbers and addresses. It also allows me to play solitaire while my child naps in a parking lot because she fell asleep on the way to or from somewhere. I have another cell phone I can use so I thought it would not be terrible because I figured I would just pop my SIM card in to the new phone and all of my info would come up. I was mistaken. I don't know why or if it is fixable and I am not certain what the solution is yet (short of asking everyone for their phone numbers and addresses but I refuse to think about inputting all of that all over again. Right now I am just in mourning for my phone. I really has a relationship with that phone. This weekend I may take it to Cingular and see if someone can revive it, I love it that much.

No really, naps are for sissies

The Mochal house has been very busy. Jeff had a men's conference at church Friday evening and Saturday day. Then I had a friend in town Sunday and Monday and now we are settling back in to our normal routine - with one minor but important exception. We are not napping. I know you all must get tired of reading about my non-napping child. It is just so frustrating. You can be cruising along happily with somewhat of a routine intact and then wham, no routine, no nap, no sanity.

On the positive side, I had a great visit with my friend Korri. It was so nice to hang out with her and her daughter. I also got a great lamp at Hobby Lobby for $13 - and it came with a light bulb. I also took a water aerobics class today which was really fun. It was hard work. I was the youngest person in the class but it was nice because the teacher gives you three exertion levels so grandma Bea can take it easy and I can work harder in the hopes of looking good in my friends wedding.

Oh and another REALLY positive, I think we have sold the house in St. Louis and should be ready to close the book on that house. WOO HOO!!! I am not going to think to much about it until we sign the papers but then I will tell you all about it.


Okay, she looks tired, I am going to try some Elmo magic and see if she will sleep. Wish me well.

Here are some photos of the "no it is fine that I am not napping, who needs to nap?" face

The power of being positive

So I saw this story on the Today Show about complaining and how it can be detrimental to your health and a variety of other things. Apparently just by being positive you can keep wrinkles away, live longer and be happier.

I just called about traffic school and it is only $98 and four hours! Woo Hoo!!!!!!! What a happy ending to my sobbing speeding ticket.

My forehead feels smoother already!

Waiting for tomorrow to come

So yesterday was a pretty bad day. It started with not being able to sleep so I think I got maybe five hours of sleep. I know some people can be fine on that, I, however, am not one of them. Then I had to go to the Dr. and I took the baby with me. It was awful, she wouldn't sit still in the stroller and then she howled if I wasn't holding her. It was just bad. We finished at the Dr. and I decided to go to the gym. I knew we would be a bit off schedule but I thought it would be fine. I dropped her off, she didn't cry, I did a great 30 minute cardio workout and life was good. Normally I give her a pretzel when I pick her up to keep her awake in the car and hold her hunger off until we get home for lunch. Well I didn't have any pretzels and when I offered her a graham cracker she began to wail. She was screaming when I put her in the car and I thought if I can just get her home and feed her she will be fine. Apparently I was too overzealous and I was speeding. I got a ticket. God bless the officer, when he came to my window the baby is howling, I am sobbing and the car smells like sweaty gym mom. He wrote the ticket for a lesser speed so I can at least go to traffic school. UGH!!

After all that I got home gave Em lunch and tried to put her down for a nap. She was not having it. After half an hour I got her up and we both took a bath and put on our pajamas. We played and then I tried again. Again she wailed for half an hour but then miraculously she fell asleep - for 20 minutes. Through God's grace alone she was not crazy the rest of the day. She sat on my lap and we watched High School Musical 2 and ate the beloved pretzels. Mostly I just wanted to stay on the couch until it was a new day.

Today is a new day, she slept until 7:20 and seems to be in a good mood. We will try it all again today.

I am woman hear me roar

I am too handy to ignore. Sing along, everyone! I have handywoman high right now. Handywoman high is defined as the euphoria associated with a completed home improvement project. I just hung shelves and they look good, not great, but good. You see, neither Jeff nor I are particularly handy. When we were putting the house on the market in St. Louis though, I got adventurous, mostly because I was cheap. We had a handyman come out and give us an estimate for a laundry list of things. I started doing some research and tried a few things on my own. I figured the worst that could happen was that the handyman had to come and fix my mistake so I went for it. I changed a three-way light switch, replaced a GFI outlet in the backyard, removed a ceiling fan and put in a light fixture and replaced the fixtures in the bathroom, thus saving us about $800. Then we moved in to this house and I got timid. I think because it is new and everything looked so shiny and I was scared to mess things up. Things like hanging curtain rods became a nightmare I avoided.

But as I was finishing putting the living room together, all that was left was hanging the shelves. So yesterday I went to Home Depot and bought a drill and was ready to finish the job. The bummer was the drill had to charge overnight. Rats! Jeff was going to help me when he got home from work but I got impatient and did it myself. (I know that sounds so weird, I am normally so patient - NOT!) Oh I am soooooooo pleased.

The recipe that will save your life

Ok well maybe that is a bit dramatic, but I heart this recipe. It is tortilla soup and I originally got it from Korri and have made some modifications mostly because I used what I had one night and it turned out great. I literally open the cans and poor them in to the pot and let it simmer until Jeff gets home. Even Em likes it!
Tortilla Soup
1 large can chicken-drain this and break up the chicken chunks
1 32 oz. can/box of chicken broth
1 can Rotel
1 can black beans (don't drain them it adds to the taste but be prepared the soup is sort of a purple color because of it)
1 can Northern beans - drain those
1 can mexican style stewed tomatoes
2 tsp. parsley
1 small onion diced (I don't like onions so I skip this one)

simmer until onion is tender , serve over crushed tortilla chips and mexican style cheese or any cheese will do.

I know some of you don't like meat in a can , Lindsey, so you can use regular chicken but it isn't as fast or easy. I use mild Rotel. but you can dial up the spice with regular or hot. If you don't like chunky tomatoes, like my husband, then use a slotted spoon to remove the actual tomatoes or I supposed you could skip that ingredient but I have a hard time not following recipes - yes, I am that anal. Enjoy!

The Gym

I joined a new gym, one that has childcare during the hours my child is awake, and today I went. Em took a short 30 minute nap this morning and I wasn't going to go but I stood my ground and I went. I dropped her off in the nursery and she cried as soon as we walked through the door. Then she cried even harder as I left. God bless the girls working there because they said, "oh she'll be fine, have a good work out." I left and proceeded to cry. It makes me want to throw up when she cries because of something I am doing. I know in my head that she will be fine and that it is good for her to be around other kids and that it is good for me to go to the gym, but still, it sucked. I got over it though when I spent 45 blissful minutes on the treadmill. I like working out, my problem is always getting there, I can find 59 other things to do, but once I am there I am good. It was a good thing to get me out of the house without another trip to Target to buy crap I don't need and can't afford.

Ugh, miss thing is awake from the nap I put her down for 25 minutes ago. I am not convinced she slept. What's the deal?

The beauty of a shower

I have to say, I have never been one of those people who claims not to be able to shower because of my child. If I don't shower it is usually because I chose to do something else instead like clean the bathroom or empty the dishwasher. I have always managed okay, mostly because I take quick showers and I don't wash my hair everyday because it is really dry. I will say though that there is a difference between a shower and a SHOWER. If I take a shower while she naps then I can take a "long, hot, shave my legs and use the body scrub shower" and man, it is excellent. Then I can actually blow dry my hair and use a straightener - for those of you who knew me back in my perm years you know that I have just recently adopted a straightener because I believe the bigger your hair is the smaller your waist looks. I digress, but anyway I love that clean, exfoliated, moisturized feeling. I will spend the next ten minutes reveling in it until I return to my normal smell of peanut butter and baby wipes.

The Goods from the Goodwill

This is the perfectly petit pink coat for my friend Thuy!



I heart this mirror and it was $3.99! Please see a frame that looks just like it featured in O magazine "http://www2.oprah.com/presents/oathome/200711/winter/winter_holiday_101.jhtml


This is a tray from a thrift store - $2, filler from Target and the cherub is a Christmas ornament that was 90% off so it cost me a whopping 39 cents - fun huh?


This is a pair of pears from the Goodwill - $8.00, filler and candles bring the total to $20

Toddlers are bipolar

So exactly one minute ago Emelia was on the floor crying because, well, I have no idea why, but I am sure it has something to do with what I did or did not do. Now she is happily putting balls back in to the ballpopper. I did nothing in between. I decided that she was clean, safe and well fed therefore I was going to ignore the tantrum. I am not sure if it was the right thing to do but I did it anyway. Note to self, find a book that deals with toddler behavior. Oh my, let's see what else today brings...

Don't look now but I think we have friends

It has been a banner week. Here's why... (You know I love a good list!)

1. Jeff was home for the first part of the week so that meant more daddy time for the punkin and me.
2. I got to watch the Rose Parade, love it!
3. I got invited to a playdate and a girls night out all on the same day which means I got to hang with other moms both with and without our kids, it doesn't get much better that that.
4. We got new blinds, I am currently typing this in my robe and our neighbors don't know it.
5. We got furniture for the living room and it was cheap and it was slightly nicked so it was even cheaper!
6. I went to the thrift store yesterday and bought some awesomely fun/unique things to decorate the newly furnished living room and it only cost me $30. (Holly thanks for the tip about Goodwill, the one on 84th and Giles had some great stuff.)
7.I bought my friend Thuy a pink spring coat from Ann Taylor at the Goodwill for $7.99. It is the cutest coat and I saw it and said who do I know that is an extra small petite, yes, my delightful friend Thuy!
8. All of the Christmas decorations have been put away.
9. We went to dinner at the home of one of Jeff's friends from work and had a great time. They have two girls and one is the same age as Emmy so miss Em had plenty of toys to play with. We took her with and had a great time and she ate like a champ and she didn't melt down even though we left an hour after her normal bedtime and well, it was lovely.
10. The dog has gone out and my coffee is done brewing and I am still the only one awake. I really enjoy a quiet morning to myself, just me and God.

God is so gracious and good, even though I fall short of His expectations every day He still blesses me abundantly.

A Fake Christmas Tree, a New Year and a Case of the Chicken Pox

So it has been a busy/fun/exciting time since I last wrote. Christmas was really nice. I think Jeff really enjoyed it, even with the fake tree. I cleaned up at the day after sales and got ornaments for my Martha tree for next year so we can have a real tree with the family ornies and my strategically decorated fake tree as well - a good compromise I think. Emmy didn't seem to interested in opening presents but she liked Elmo and her Learning House (both from the resale shop, love it!) My dad came on Christmas day and that was nice. It was great to see him.

Our neighbors invited us to their New Year's party which was exciting except we didn't end up going. IEmmy came down with a mild case of the chicken pox from her vaccine. She wasn't too bad but she was crankenstein for a few days.

I went to another play date and even a girls night out ( I think the whole night cost me ten bucks for dinner and a coffee - God bless Omaha!). The women in the group are so fun and diverse. Listening to their stories and their lives I realize that I really have it pretty good. Sometimes various members of my family make me crazy but all in all I am blessed with a family that may be crazy but I know they love me.

The new year is always a good time for me. I think it is because I am a morning person and the new year is like a big long morning. When I first wake up I am so optimistic and the day is filled with such promise. I can just feel all the things I can get done and the errands/chores I can cross off my list. As the day progresses and reality sets in I have less crossed off and less optimism. By evening I am tired and ready for a new day's promise. The new year has that same promise but times 365 - the things I can get done, the new stages for Emelia, the weight I can lose - it is all there in front of me. One of those things to get done is finishing the house. I am eager to paint and hang things so I can finally feel settled. We made a major step towards that yesterday when we got blinds for the downstairs. I can't believe what a difference they make. The installers even hung my curtain rods for free. We got a few new pieces of furniture from the clearance store at the Furniture Mart, which are being delivered today. I can't wait.

The last three days have been really great, between the night out, the blinds and my trip to the gym today I have almost forgotten that it is ridiculously cold and I live in Nebraska. It is supposed to be 46 one day this weekend, maybe 2008 will live up to it's promise.

Here are some pics of Christmas, by the way the baby buggy is just a smaller version of the wagon. I have taken a waffle a pacifier, a dog toy and dollies out of it at various times since she got it.

The Bitter Taste of Victory

So I won, but it sure doesn't feel like it. Jeff came home yesterday and said we would have to get an artificial tree because he looked and no one still has live trees, he went to three different places. He said we would just use the fake tree like I suggested and get another real tree next year. We went to Target and bought a fake tree. Great, right? Not so much.

Jeff was REALLY sad. We talked about it and he said that Christmas is something that has a lot of good memories tied to it and for him a real tree is a part of that. He doesn't care very deeply about much besides people so since Christmas is something he does care deeply about it really effects him when it doesn't go as he had hoped. Ouch. Why would I take away the joy of Christmas because I have to vacuum a few (thousand) needles. I sure felt like a scrooge. I believe this is a valuable lesson in being logically right but morally wrong. Oops, hopefully lesson learned. I am giving Jeff a coupon in his stocking good for "no more arguments about real trees forever more."

Let's Get Ready to Rumble

Now say it in that voice like the guy from the boxing matches. I hear that in my head every year around Thanksgiving because that is when Jeff and I are start our annual Christmas tree battle. I believe it has come to a head today and he doesn't even know it. You see Jeff loves Christmas. This is big because Jeff doesn't LOVE much besides people and our pets. But Christmas is a big deal to him and he likes to have the decorations up as long as possible and he starts listening to Christmas music after Halloween I am pretty sure. Part of Jeff's Christmas obsession is having a real Christmas tree. I guess they always has a real tree growing up so maybe that's why, I don't really know. (We had a real tree growing up as well and yet I am not wedded to a real tree.) Now I don't mind a real tree except for the fact that I swear I am still picking up needles in March. It makes me CRAZY! So this year I started in about getting a lovely artificial tree and he said just one year could we not have this argument. I felt childish and decided I would not hound him about it again. Who am I to take away his joy of picking out a real tree and having it for Christmas. By the way picking it out is also a ridiculous task - he cuts open about 10 trees and bangs them on the ground and then makes me hold them while he inspects them from every possible angle. Then he ends up getting the first one he picked out. Lucky for me we have the world's greatest tree stand and it is easy to make the tree straight without too much hassle. So anyway I am trying to be a good Christian, non-combative wife so we got a real tree and decorated it and all was well with the world until about a week ago.

About two weeks ago I noticed that the tree was getting really brittle and I thought I needed to be better about checking the water. So I checked but the water level never went down. A week ago I declared our tree officially dead. Yesterday every time I looked at it I was just sad. (In the mean time I noticed that the room we spend the most time in has no Christmas decorations because the tree was in the living room and we hang out in the family room.) So I said to Jeff maybe we can get a real tree for the living room and put all of our sentimental crazy decorations on it and then we can get a fake tree for the living room and I can attempt to make it the perfect tree a la Martha Stewart. Jeff said no but didn't sound to convincing about it so I decided to wait and bring it up again after Christmas because maybe we could get a fake tree cheap the day after Christmas.

Well this morning I told Jeff how sad the tree was making me and I said maybe we can get a fake tree to replace this one until Christmas and then the fake tree will move in to the family room next year. Well you would have thought I suggested we sacrifice Emelia to the tree gods. He said he would just go get a new real tree. I said that was a waste of $60 and he said there will be no fake trees in this house. Oh really?!? So we argued about it some more and then he says what will you tell Emelia? As though some day I was going to have to explain to her why mommy smoked crack. WHAT!!!!! It is an artificial tree. Finally I just decided that this is one of those rare instances when we can not come to a reasonable compromise and as the head of the household I was going to have to follow him. (kicking and screaming, but I will follow.) I even decided that I would take down the ornies and lights from this tree and be ready for a new real tree.

Okay that was a mistake because this tree was so dead that I think 1/2 of the needles ended up on the floor. I would try to take and ornament off and the whole branch would snap off in my hand. The more I plucked needles out of my sweater the more annoyed I got. By the time I got the stupid tree outside I was fuming. I have calmed down now, thank you blog, but I still think there has to be a better way. I will try to follow wise advice I once got, just shut up about it and pray. I will let you know what happens.

Sweet Tooth

My cookie exchange was really fun. The playdate was also great. It was nice to just to be around other moms and see that everyone struggles. There were three moms at the playgroup and they have kids ranging in age from ten to one. Holly actually has a three year old, a two year old and twin one year olds. Her husband is not in Iraq but on a short term assignment in the Caribbean, I think. She handles everything with such ease. At least it looks that way... she says she has lots of help from her friends which makes it doable. She just doesn't seem to get freaked out about anything. She borrowed a diaper at lunch and when she was changing one of the twins I asked if she wanted some Desitin and she replied "oh no we don't have time for that luxury." I smiled and thought thank the Lord for perspective. I am hoping to join up with their playgroup. Holly also mentioned a Bible study at the church designed for people who are new to town. I think I will look in to that.

My dad is coming next week and I am really excited so see him and for Emmy to have some time with him. It is good to engage her with family. I met my aunt for lunch this week and when we left I said say goodbye to auntie and she leaned over and gave her a hug. It was very sweet.

Good news from my friends in Ukraine, their adoption went through and they are on their way back with the boys on the 22. What a blessing! Thanks for your prayers!

Lately I have been very humbled by the people around me. I look at Mark and Courtney and think how are they adopting two boys who are 4 and 5 and don't speak English and yet Mark and Courtney feel as though this is the best gift they could have gotten. Holly has four kids under age three and I marvel at how she does it and yet she not only gets by, she doesn't complain and seems to really relish her children and takes the time to extend a warm welcome to a newcomer. I feel like God is placing these people in my life to show me gratitude and humility and grace and peace. I hope I can use the lessons wisely. I really want to be connected to a church again so I can serve others. My life feels sort of unfulfilling without the opportunity to help others.

Today it is warm, above freezing so maybe I will take Em for a wagon ride.

I Have a Date

I actually have two. I am so excited! No, not that kind of date silly, a playdate. Jeff and I went to a new church this weekend and we both really liked it. (As much as Jeff can really like anything - Jeff likes to limit use of adjectives when describing emotions.) I met a women there who has twin one year olds, a two year old and a four year old, oh and her husband is deployed in Iraq currently. (I am tired just thinking about it.) She introduced herself and we chatted. She invited me to a cookie exchange on Wednesday evening. Then she called last night and invited me to a play group she does tomorrow during the day. I really am excited. It is sort of like having a life again. I made my best cookies - they aren't pretty but they taste good. They called for chocolate icing to be drizzeled on top and I am not a good drizzler and I think I made the frosting to thin. Oh well. Look I am all nervous, this is worse than my first date in high school. Probably because I was a lot cuter then and no one was looking at my cookies, trust me. I even bought a new sweater to wear. I will let you know how it goes. Even if I never speak to one of these women again at least for one week I was excited. In addition I think the church would be a really good place for me to get plugged in. They seem to have a lot of activities and different ministries that really appeal to us. We will continue to pray for God's guidance as to where we end up.

In other news we have some friends from St. Louis who are in Ukraine right now trying to finalize an adoption. If you all could pray for Mark and Courtney that would be great. The power of prayer is awesome and this couple has been waiting for this adoption for three years and they are finally there and the two boys they are set to adopt may have family showing up out of the woodwork. I am just sick when I think about it but I know God has a plan for them. Thanks for your support for our friends.

Call Oprah, my kid's a hoarder

Monday was Emmy's first birthday. I can't believe it has been a year. It feels like yesterday that I was wondering if she would sleep through the night or roll over. Now she walks and dances and eats waffles. Who knew? I never could have imagined that I could love her as much as I do or that being a mom would change my life in such a dramatic way. This is by far the hardest job I have ever had. Some days I feel like it is the most rewarding and other days I want to sell her to the gypsies. (Not that I would know where to find gypsies or how much to ask for my child.) I have begun to think about what it would be like to have another child. I wonder if I could go through the tough stages again while still facing the unexpected challenge of whatever new stage Emmy was going through. Can I handle sleep training and potty training at the same time? Do I want to go back to work anytime soon? Do I want to go back to work ever? Every time I try to think about what this next stage of life will bring I end up with more questions than answers. I imagine that is why God is in charge and not me.

Some new revelations about Emmy - she loves Elmo and she is a hoarder. We have started a new ritual with Sesame Street. She sits on my lap and we cuddle and watch Sesame Street. She loves Elmo. Sometimes if she is clinging to my legs while I am trying to make dinner I put on Sesame Street to occupy her. It will keep her busy for a little bit then she will wonder off. As soon as the theme song to Elmo's World comes on she comes running back in to the room with a huge grin on her face. Yesterday we were in Babies R Us and she found a life size Elmo doll. She promptly picked it up and tried to share her snack with him. I would have bought him but he was $40 and I was sure I could find him somewhere else cheaper. Now to the hoarding.

Jeff bought her a wagon for her birthday. She loves it. She likes to go for rides in it but mostly she likes to put her toys in it and push it around. After I laid her down for her afternoon nap I took a peak inside the wagon and I found the following items that she had been collecting all day - Elmo, her dolly, her stuffed frog, letter from her fridge phonics game, my headband, the dog's bone, Jeff's xbox controller, a fish teether and her spin a letter toy. I laughed so hard. What a funny baby she is.

Um it is snowing--again

Why, why must it snow again today and yet again on Tuesday supposedly? Yesterday the low was 19 and the high was 21. What is that? How is the high two degrees from the low?

Last night was Jeff's holiday party at his boss' house. It was really nice. It was sooooo nice to talk to people. It turns out the event group reports in to Jeff's boss as well and they have a woman who is going on maternity leave so we talked about me maybe helping out while she is on leave. If we can work out the details that would be nifty. My aunt Elaine watched Emmy and she said she did really well. I am so thankful! It is nice to know that maybe Jeff and I can go to a restaurant that doesn't have a kids menu every now and then.

So I am officially putting in a request with God to melt the snow but according to everyone I talked to last night I don't hold out much hope until March.

"It's still there!"

This is what I said to Jeff this morning when I realized the four inches of snow we got yesterday was still on the ground. (Disclaimer - for those of you who have grown up around snow you are going to find this post fairly ridiculous.) I figured that snow would be like it was in St. Louis. It would snow, it would be pretty/cold for a day or so then it would melt and in a month or so it would snow again. Um that is not the case here. It never gets warm enough for the snow to melt so from here on out I believe that every snow fall we have will just add to the snow on the ground. UGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

I don't like to drive in snow and I don't like to have to dry the dog off every time he goes out in the snow. Poor buddy the snow covers his legs and makes his little belly all wet. The bright side I have found in all of this is that it is a good chance to buy some new shoes - snow boots.

Here are some pictures I took yesterday. The first one was taken at 8:00 and the second one was taken at noon.

So Sad

I am at a loss for words to describe how I feel today. I am so sad for the families of the victims and the people who are still recovering from their injuries. Yesterday as the story of t eh mall shooting unfolded at first I just head shooting at a mall. I assumed it was one of the "not so nice malls" and that it was gangsters shooting at each other. (How callous is that? - We will get back to that in a minute.) then I heard it was Westroads, that is one of the nicer malls. Then I heard it was in Von Mauers, that is sort of like a Nordstroms. First it was five likely injured, okay I could deal with that. That was all we heard until around 4:00 when the Police Spokesperson said " we can confirm that nine people are dead." I thought surely she misspoke. Unfortunately she did not. I was just so sad. I called my friend and asked her to pray with me because I didn't know what else to do. I know there is not much more I can do.

I called all of my family here and everyone was good. When I talked to my dad's brother he told me that my cousin's husband and their two daughters left the mall about 15 minutes before the shooting started. It is all so surreal. Jeff and I were just at that mall on Sunday.

Friends and family is you read t his please take a minute and pray for the victims families, those still fighting to recover and teh entire city of Omaha.

Thanks.

Ice Ice Baby

Today is a unique day for a couple of reasons.

1) Jeff and I were awake before Emmy. She slept until 7:11! It is so pleasant to awake not to an alarm and not to a fussing child or even to a singing child, but to your own body's circadian rhythm.

2) Everything is covered in ice. As we were making breakfast this morning Jeff and I were discussing this phenomenon, because frankly I don't get it. The water coming from the sky is rain yet when it lands it turns to ice. If it is cold enough to turn it to ice shouldn't it be cold enough to make the precipitation snow? You know? Jeff says that it is warmer in the atmosphere than on the ground. I am going to blame global warming. It looks like it is just raining outside but the dog slid down the sidewalk on his way to relieving himself. One really cool part of this is icicles. Also the individual blades of grass are encapsulated in ice. I tried to capture it on film but my photography skills leave a bit to be desired.

3) I am stuck inside and loving it. We made breakfast together and now we are going to give Em a bath and then we are going to decorate the tree. Jeff brought a tree home last night. Yippee!!!!! Now if only the Big 12 championship game weren't on in prime time it would be a banner day!

I Love Once Upon a Child

So today I went Christmas shopping, I thought I could use a little retail therapy. I found some great stuff for Jeff and some fun princess dolls at the Disney store marked down 50% for Em but best of all I found the Once Upon a Child store. For those of you who don't know what that is, it is a children's resale shop. They have tons of gently used clothes and toys. I bought Emmy eight pieces of clothing including a velvet Christmas dress from Children's Place and a toy for $40. SCORE!!!! I love love love the little outfit from Gymboree that I got her. Having a child is sort of like having a Barbie except easier to dress (then again maybe not at least the plastic legs didn't kick.) I love dressing Emmy in fun clothes and bows in her hair and all of that sort of thing. I have no idea what she will like when she is old enough to choose her own clothes so I better enjoy it now. Here is her little overall set I just bought, yes I did change her in to it when we got home. I am a freak! It has teeny cupcakes on it - I mean seriously, cupcakes!

The first one is a close up - once I got the camera out it was hard to keep her from walking up to me.

Pity Party of One

your table is now available. Sorry for the Debbie Downer entry yesterday. I feel much better today. After I sat and had some tea I felt a little more like myself. I got off my butt and dug out the sleep book which had some good suggestions and I took Murphy to the vet, who also had some good suggestions. I tried to count my blessing literally and they are to many to number. My friend Jess also gave me some good perspective. Sometimes I expect things to get better sooner than is realistic. I think I should just be able to snap out of it and put things together. I think that is my anal control freak side. Instead of waiting patiently while God works all things out for His glory I get to thinking I can fix it myself. Man I hope I don't pass that on to Emelia, that and my thighs oh and my freckles.

Turns out the vet thinks Murphy may have a urinary tract infection so he is on antibiotics. He also gave me a cream to put on his pee pee because it is inflamed. GROSS!!!!! But if it means he stops peeing in the house, I will put it on four times a day like I am supposed to.

We are expecting an ice storm tomorrow. I like winter and I like snow, I don't like ice. I don't like being unable to go places when I want to go. This will be the first big test of winter in Omaha and the weather people here. I discovered it is much harder to be a weather person in the Midwest than in LA. Fritz Coleman was always like "it looks like it will be 78 and sunny today, for tomorrow we think it will be 79 and sunny." The Midwest has actual weather patterns to evaluate and try to interpret.

Dear sweet blog thanks for bearing with me and loving me even when I am not sunny and cheery. So everyone can pray for Murphy's pee issue I have included his picture, how can you not pray for that dog! And here is Miss Em with the ballpopper extraordinaire.

Out of Sorts

I am feeling a bit out of sorts today. I am not sure exactly what my problem is but I feel a little bit isolated. I am sort of wandering through my days lately. I have no real plans other than grocery shopping and naps. I thought maybe I was just feeling a bit blue because of the holidays. I usually miss my mom around now. It could be that I am struggling with the move and having no friends here. It could be that I am feeling icky because the baby is being a fuss bunny today. I don't know what it is but I am sad. I miss my friends and I miss feeling like I have a sense of purpose. I feel like all I do is cook and clean and change diapers. Oh and clean up pee spots, for some reason Murphy has started peeing all over the house. Between Emmy's erratic naps and the dog's wayward bladder I am tired. I would get out the sleep book and try to figure out what to do about Emmy's nap but we have not unpacked the books yet. I feel like I am living in a state of flux. We haven't hung things on the wall in the bedrooms because we need to paint and we don't really have all the furniture we need to decorate the rooms so it sort of feels like we don't really live here. I just have this feeling like I want to go home and have my life back. I know that is not possible and it is selfish because Jeff is so much happier here in Omaha. I try to convince myself that I am too but I am not. I know I should be praying about all of this but I can't even put my mind to that. This whole funk is probably Satan trying to get at me and I know I am letting him. I just feel sort of sad and desperate. I wish my mom were here she was always the person I called when I feel like this. I could call any one of my friends but I feel like such a whiner, probably because I am right now. I just put Emmy down for a nap which is funny since this is neither her normal nap time nor her new nap time. Being type A is so hard. : ) At least that made me smile. If you can't laugh at yourself who can you laugh at?

I think I will make myself a cup of tea and try to focus on the blessings in my life and pray that I snap out of this.

Naps are for sissies

So we have started a new nap trend. Okay I shouldn't call it a trend because that implies consistency and well, there is nothing consistent about it. She seems to be moving to the one nap a day model. This would be fine if we would just switch over and politely sleep for two hours in the afternoon and then sleep for 10-12 hours at night. I would love that, but I am afraid that is not the case and that transitioning may take longer than I would like. Go figure. Yesterday she only took one nap and it seemed to be okay, but we will see what today brings.

We put up Christmas decor this week and Emmy helped me. She has also figured out how to get her dad's xbox controllers out and turn on the box. Oy vey!

Make new friends....

but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold. I had that song, "The Friendship Song" from the Girl Scouts in my head today because last night I got to see some old friends. In the timeline of my life I suppose they are actually new friends but they are my St. Louis church friends which now makes them old. (Not in years but you know what I mean.) It was so nice to spend time with three women who I consider terrific examples of how to be a Godly Christian wife and mom. These women really are role models for me. Each of them are different and each of them will readily admit their flaws but they are all living each day trying to be the best wife and mother they can be. I love that about them. (Some are soon to be moms and even though they don't have kids yet (only a few more weeks) I still think they know more about Christian parenting than I ever will.)

I was at my friends wedding in Topeka Kansas, wow that is a boring drive , which is where I was able to see my friends. Jeff called me last night and said Emmy's diaper rash has gotten worse and that she howled when he tried to clean her tush after her two butt explosions. I think it might have a yeast component to the rash so I will call the doctor on Monday to talk to a nurse about her symptoms and see what we should do. In other fun news I came home this morning and tried to get Emmy to nurse since I had not nursed since yesterday morning, nor have I pumped, and she said nope. It is not time to nurse therefore I will not. Man she is a child of routine. I loaned my pump to my cousin since I don't really use it anymore so now I look like Pam Anderson. We will see if I can get her to nurse before her afternoon nap. If not I will just have to wait until bedtime tonight and hope for the best. So far it is not to painful but they are definitely firmer than I would like.

My friend Lindsey sent Emmy a Busy Ball Popper for her birthday and she loves it. It is by Playskool and I definitely recommend it to anyone with a toddler. I am not sure what the age range on it is but Em thinks it is loads of fun.

Jeff just told me that our realtor called and three separate people are looking at the house this weekend for the first time. Let's pray one of them is the right one!

Grammy is soooo fun

Jeff's parents were here this week, they just left this morning. It was heartwarming to see Emmy really warm up to Jeff's mom. She ate more food siting on Grandma's lap than she did in the high chair. We had a really nice visit. I made my friend's famous caramel chex mix and Elsie asked for the recipe. I will cherish that moment until next Thanksgiving!

A certain friend of mine asked for photos of the house. I will see if I can get some good ones and post them soon.

Happy Black Friday everyone!

Seriously, would you look at this face

This is the face of a darn cute baby. Although currently she is a darn cute baby who refuses to nap and has been crying for the last 20 minutes. UGH, but she is still cute.

Baby it's cold outside

Here is why I love winter...

The earliest blog entry

So as I sit here at my computer at 6:39, I have been up for almost two hours already - cripes, the day is half over! At least according to the baby. She woke up this morning at 4:54. I brought her back to bed with me and nursed her in bed hoping she would nurse and go back to sleep. No dice. She nursed and then laid there snoring, it seemed, for just long enough to get my hopes up before bolting upright and giggling. Oh man, that is early.

In an effort to find the beauty of God's creation in everything even the clock that says it is 5:00 a.m., here is what I noticed about my early start.

Starlight walks with the dog - it was lovely the stars were still so clear. Then as I came inside I was greeted by the smell of freshly brewed coffee. It reminds me of waking up at my mom's house.

Breakfast with friends - Since Emmy has taken to her Elmo doll the last few days she did not want o put him down for breakfast so Elmo sat in the high chair and joined us for waffles.

Sunrise - So I can actually see the sun rise over cornfields from some of the windows in my house. We live in a new development that is on the southern edge of 96th street. The pavement literally turns to gravel one block south of our street. Last night I saw the most beautiful sunset. (I took a picture of it and when I find the cord that connects the camera to the computer I will post it.)

A jump start on my to do list - Being as anal as I am, having the opportunity to cross even more things off of my to do list is exciting!

So good morning world may your day start as well as mine has... just a few hours later.

Why I am too old to text message

Okay so clearly I am not the target text message demographic, I get that, but every now and again I like to send text messages. Usually I do it when I know my husband is unavailable by phone or something along those lines. Well last night I wanted to get my friend to send me his email address. It was 9:30, which I believe makes it about an hour to late to politely call someone, but I didn't want to forget, so I sent a text message. Thinking I was funny I signed it "love your favorite midwestern housewife." (Yes I know you don't have to sign text messages but like I said I am not so good at this.) So he writes back and says who is this? I, again thinking I am being funny, write, silly goose it is me, e. So he writes back again and says seriously who is this. This particular friend of mine and I have an inside joke about punctuation, especially the use of i.e. So I write i.e. it is me. Then I went to bed. This morning I woke up to a text message saying "this isn't funny WHO is this? I have a sleeping six year old and if you have any respect for me you will tell me who this is or quit texting." OOPS! My friend that I was writing to has grandchildren that are around six but not children that age. I couldn't figure out what went wrong until I realized that I was using my friend's old cell phone number to send the messages to. I sent an apology text this morning but not before feeling like a gigantic idiot!

Shame

I am so ashamed of myself. Last night I completely lost it with Emmy. Jeff was running late coming home and I was trying to get dinner ready. She was tugging at my pant legs and wouldn't leave me alone while I was trying to cook. I thought she was hungry so I gave her a snack and a sippy cup of milk to hold her over until we could all eat dinner together. She wouldn't stop fussing, Jeff called to say he was running later that he thought and I was at the end of my rope. I put her in the high chair and tried to give her some cheeseburger pocket (what we were having for dinner) she spit it back at me so I tried again and she wouldn't open her mouth. I was sure she would like it if she would just try it because she loves cheese. I caught her with her mouth open and managed to wedge a piece in and she apparently felt violated because she began to scream so I screamed at her to just eat it and then she screamed louder and then I screamed again and angrily pulled her high chair tray off and picked her up and yelled, "what do you want?" She just looked at me and screamed and cried, as I sit here typing this I could not feel any worse. I suddenly snapped to my sense and was thought , "dear God what am I doing?" I held her and apologized to her and tried to calm her down because at this point she has big fat tears streaming down her face and was sobbing. I finally got her calmed down and we sat and watched Wheel of Fortune and ate cheeseburger pockets.

I was so ashamed of myself and felt awful. The only saving grace was the thought that she is not old enough to remember that ugliness from her mom. I am trying hard to turn over her eating issues to God. I know in my head that if she is hungry she will eat and if not she won't. I never quite know if she is done with what I have given her or done with dinner and then I worry about her not getting enough nutrition. I know this is only going to get worse based on what I have read and I can not force her to eat so I am praying about it fervently and trying to let go of my anxiety about the situation.

I hope that last night's ugliness will serve as a reminder that not eating is not cause for not loving.

Make the Boxes Go Away

Well we officially own the house now even though we have been living here for two weeks. We closed on the house today and it feels good to get that out of the way. The previous owners let us preoccupy the house since they were not living here. The deal is these people basically went to this builder and built this house but in the nine months it took to construct it they got a divorce so they sold the house without ever having lived in it. It is a sad story to me. How does so much go so wrong in as little as nine months? Anyway, we own it and now we just have to finish unpacking. I am finding it a little hard to finish unpacking as there are some key furniture additions we will need to make in oder for everything to be complete and it is tough to work around that stuff but I am trying.

Jeff's parents are coming next week and I really want the house to look nice for them. I am sure they will tell us it is too big and too fancy but I at least want things to look nice.

I am reading a new book called Faith Based Family and it is rocking my world. It is completely challenging me not just on how I want to raise Emmy but on how I want to be as a Christian. It is a great book.

Back to the move, I still want to paint a few of the rooms but I am trying to decide whether to attempt it myself or pay someone to do it. I could probably do it myself but when we did that with the old house I saw every flaw every time I walked in to the room and I don't want it to be that way here. Maybe I will get a quote and then decide, or maybe the quote will decide for me.

Umm Yeah I've Been Meaning to Write

So I know it has been a really long time since I posted and I also know last time I posted I said I was going to write more and I also know I haven't so well Oops! So much has changed since last time I posted. Jeff got a job not with the Chicago company and not with the St. Louis company but with ConAgra Foods in Omaha. So alas, we live in Omaha. When I was a kid my dad was in the Air Force and we always wanted to get stationed in Omaha because that would be the base closest to family. We never did and yet here 30 years later I am in Omaha. God is so funny sometimes. I now live in the same city as two aunts , an uncle, four cousins and four second cousins. It is so weird to live in the same city as family. I am still not entirely sure how it is supposed to work. On Monday I ran in to my aunt in the grocery store - seriously that is weird.

There are good things and bad things about Omaha. The good things first...
Our house - It is lovely and larger than anything we could have ever dreamed of owning, three times the size of our St. Louis house for 15k less. We live near a SuperTarget and a Super Wal Mart as well as a Hy-Vee. For those of you who don't know what a Hy-Vee is, it is a grocery store but ours is like a grocery store on steroids. It is brand new and has an eat-in area that has not only your standard market deli counter but a killer salad bar, chinese food and pizza.

Cost of Living - The cost of housing is the most noticeable decrease but the cost of everything else is slightly cheaper as well. Jeff also makes about 40% more than his old job so the money just seems to go so much farther.

Slower life - If I thought life in St. Louis was slower-paced, life in Omaha practically stands still. It also just feels like another time. I went to a Fareway today - another grocery store. (When I get to the bad stuff you will realize there isn't a ton to do here hence the daily grocery trips.) The Fareway had no prepackaged meat only a butcher counter. I asked for a roast and he asked how much I wanted. I had no idea, I usually just pick up the package that is the cheapest at the regular grocery store. Then I checked out and the nice young bagger wanted to help me out to my car with my one bag of groceries. I declined.

Family - It is nice to live near family. My prayer is that I can be a blessing to them and serve them the way I tried to serve my friends in St. Louis.

Now the bad stuff...

No Chick-Fil-A - Seriously, this currently tops my list of issues. When we moved her Jeff checked the web site and told me there was a Chick-Fil-A. I was okay with there only being one. Then I discovered yesterday that it is in the Mutual of Omaha cafeteria and I don't think it is open to the public. I have a few calls to make still to confirm but I am not holding out much hope. My next plan of attack is to find a friend who works for Mutual of Omaha so I can meet them for lunch and have Chick-Fil-A.

Lonely - I do have family here but I miss my friends. I know I will make new friends but it will be years before I am connected the way I was in St. Louis. I am just praying that God helps us find a church so we can start to meet people.

Not a ton to do - I think we will miss the plays, concerts and sporting events most. They have a nice zoo here although I think the one in STL is better. I will check out the botanical gardens and museums in the spring.

That is a snap shot of life in Omaha. On to other things.

Emmy is doing well, she started walking right after we moved here which was 10/27. Now she walks more than crawls and has a harder time siting still. My new obsession is her eating habits or lack thereof. She only wants to eat things she can feed herself and yogurt or ice cream. Every now and again she will let me feed her something but only for about 6 spoonfuls. She is refusing most vegetables and will only eat some fruit some of the time. Her desire changes daily. The one constant is cheese. She would eat my arm if i covered it in cheese. Today I made her a grilled cheese sandshich and smuggled peas in to it. I looked over and she was squeezing the chesee and peas out of the sandwhich, dropping the peas and eating the cheese. Seriously!!!

I will add a couple of pictures and then try to get back in the swing of things. It should be easier now that the computer is on the main floor and the monitor isn't out of range.




Our new house

Long Time No Talk

I know it has been awhile since I have posted on here so for any of you who have been checking - sorry! Things are moving right along in some ways and are totally crazy in others. So, the baby is doing well but she is teething which makes her a bit clingy and a little bit of a fussy bunny. (There is a whole song I have composed to accompany the fussy bunny role but I will have to sing it for you another time.) We have settled in to a pretty good schedule. She gets up, plays for awhile, eats some breakfast, naps nurses, we run errands, she nurses again then naps again and then daddy comes home and the real fun starts. She eats another solid meal in the evening, takes a bath and goes to bed. It is hard to even remember the days when I thought she would never go to bed. We have cured, for the most part, the night waking. She sleeps straight through the night most nights and wakes a couple times a week, but usually she can get herself back to sleep. I highly recommend the Ferber Sleep Method his book is titled Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems and it certainly did. God has been blessing our family tremendously as we continue to evolve from two to three.

Now the crazy part. Jeff is not really happy at work and hasn't been for some time. We really feel like God is leading us away from Hardee's. The tricky part is we are not sure where he is leading us to. Jeff had a good interview in Chicago with a PR agency there. Everything about the position sounds great. The trouble is we don't really want to move and we are not sure if we can afford to live in Chicago without Jeff having to add two hours on to his day in commuting time. Jeff has an interview with a St. Louis company on Wednesday and we are really praying that it would go well and he would get an offer from them. We are trying to be open to where God wants us to go but it is tough to know.

I guess that is about it for now, I will try to be better about writing. Not only does it help me stay in touch with people, it helps me organize my thoughts.

We have started solid food and this is what it looks like.