Let's Get Ready to Rumble

Now say it in that voice like the guy from the boxing matches. I hear that in my head every year around Thanksgiving because that is when Jeff and I are start our annual Christmas tree battle. I believe it has come to a head today and he doesn't even know it. You see Jeff loves Christmas. This is big because Jeff doesn't LOVE much besides people and our pets. But Christmas is a big deal to him and he likes to have the decorations up as long as possible and he starts listening to Christmas music after Halloween I am pretty sure. Part of Jeff's Christmas obsession is having a real Christmas tree. I guess they always has a real tree growing up so maybe that's why, I don't really know. (We had a real tree growing up as well and yet I am not wedded to a real tree.) Now I don't mind a real tree except for the fact that I swear I am still picking up needles in March. It makes me CRAZY! So this year I started in about getting a lovely artificial tree and he said just one year could we not have this argument. I felt childish and decided I would not hound him about it again. Who am I to take away his joy of picking out a real tree and having it for Christmas. By the way picking it out is also a ridiculous task - he cuts open about 10 trees and bangs them on the ground and then makes me hold them while he inspects them from every possible angle. Then he ends up getting the first one he picked out. Lucky for me we have the world's greatest tree stand and it is easy to make the tree straight without too much hassle. So anyway I am trying to be a good Christian, non-combative wife so we got a real tree and decorated it and all was well with the world until about a week ago.

About two weeks ago I noticed that the tree was getting really brittle and I thought I needed to be better about checking the water. So I checked but the water level never went down. A week ago I declared our tree officially dead. Yesterday every time I looked at it I was just sad. (In the mean time I noticed that the room we spend the most time in has no Christmas decorations because the tree was in the living room and we hang out in the family room.) So I said to Jeff maybe we can get a real tree for the living room and put all of our sentimental crazy decorations on it and then we can get a fake tree for the living room and I can attempt to make it the perfect tree a la Martha Stewart. Jeff said no but didn't sound to convincing about it so I decided to wait and bring it up again after Christmas because maybe we could get a fake tree cheap the day after Christmas.

Well this morning I told Jeff how sad the tree was making me and I said maybe we can get a fake tree to replace this one until Christmas and then the fake tree will move in to the family room next year. Well you would have thought I suggested we sacrifice Emelia to the tree gods. He said he would just go get a new real tree. I said that was a waste of $60 and he said there will be no fake trees in this house. Oh really?!? So we argued about it some more and then he says what will you tell Emelia? As though some day I was going to have to explain to her why mommy smoked crack. WHAT!!!!! It is an artificial tree. Finally I just decided that this is one of those rare instances when we can not come to a reasonable compromise and as the head of the household I was going to have to follow him. (kicking and screaming, but I will follow.) I even decided that I would take down the ornies and lights from this tree and be ready for a new real tree.

Okay that was a mistake because this tree was so dead that I think 1/2 of the needles ended up on the floor. I would try to take and ornament off and the whole branch would snap off in my hand. The more I plucked needles out of my sweater the more annoyed I got. By the time I got the stupid tree outside I was fuming. I have calmed down now, thank you blog, but I still think there has to be a better way. I will try to follow wise advice I once got, just shut up about it and pray. I will let you know what happens.