God is good! I got the results of my biopsy and they were negative, nothing to worry about - hooray! Pink eye seems to be gone and the baby is back to her old self but with a slight Sesame Street addiction. I now hide the remote and turn the TV off (no Today Show for me) and then she seems to be fine.
I lost another pound and a half. This means I have officially lost twenty pounds of non-baby weight. (I was twenty pounds heavier before I got pregnant than I am now, make sense?) I am trying hard to eat better and take better care of my body and I really feel a difference.
After our week of craziness I have to say I still feel blessed. My friend's little boy has hand/foot/mouth disease (apparently just a childhood illness that is not as scary as it sounds but still pretty unfun none the less.) She also has a three year old to keep happy. Now that is a challenge. We are praying for you sister!
My friend Thuy is coming this weekend and we are going to Women of Faith. I am so excited I could just about pee. I have cleaned every room in the house and stocked the pantry. I am putting her to work making her famous Vietnamese Spring Rolls one night - yummy!
I am also excited because tonight is water aerobics - my first time to the gym in almost two weeks. Besides the fact that it is the end of March and the temperature with wind chill is in the 20's, today is shaping up to be a good day!
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
As the Moc Turns
The last 10 days have been some wacky times at the Mochal household. This is a brief synopsis...
Monday 3/17 - I feel crummy so I go to the doctor who does a quick return strep test which is negative, says I have a sinus infection and some "grossness on my tonsil". I leave with my prescription in hand and head home for lunch and nap time. Emmy's nose is still running so after nap time we go back to the doctor who says she needs another round of antibiotics. Okay, off to Target we go to fill our prescriptions and get started.
Tuesday 3/18 - Mom's birthday but oddly enough I don't realize it because when I set my watch for daylight savings time I must have screwed up the date so I think it is the 19. I feel better and Emmy's nose is still running. The doctor calls and my strep culture came back positive after they let it sit for awhile but I am on antibiotics so all is well.
Wednesday 3/19 - I host playgroup, it goes really well and it was so nice to talk to people again and just be around other moms.
Thursday 3/20 - I go in for a breast biopsy. I had gone to the doctor because I had a red spot on my right breast and she thought it was a clogged duct but ordered an ultrasound to be on the safe side. That detected a small nodule which looked benign so I had a mammogram. That detected the same nodule so we decided to remove it and look at it under a microscope to make sure it was benign. The hospital staff was so gracious and kind it was a complete answer to prayer. All of the doctors thought it was nothing to worry about but I get the official results sometime this week.
Friday 3/21 - Emmy's nose is still running and now her eye is goopy. We plug away with the antibiotics.
Saturday 3/22 - We were at the furniture mart and I was holding Emmy's hand. She wanted to go one way but I wouldn't let her so she stopped supporting her weight so I was basically holding her by her hand only. I heard two loud cracks and now she won't move her arm and she is crying pretty good. Crap, I broke her arm, what kind of mother am I?!?! We call the after hours nurse for our doctor, she says we should go to the hospital to have it looked at. She has what is called nursemaid's elbow which basically means she dislocated her elbow. It took us longer to fill out paperwork then it did for the delightful Dr. to fix it. We return home like nothing ever happened. The good news is I think I met our deductible with the breast biopsy so hopefully this little field trip will be free.
Sunday 3/23 - We all get fancied up and head off to Easter church. When I pick Emmy up from the nursery she is asleep on someone's lap. This is weird since it is 10:30 and she has been napping around noon. We get sleepy face home and change her clothes only to discover a big blotch on her should. We put her down for a nap and look it up on the internet and determine she has hives. When she gets up from her nap they are all over her back. I give her some Benadryl and they disappear in 15 minutes. She is a wet noodle most of the rest of the afternoon - except when we did an Easter egg hunt and she discovered the magic of jelly beans. We get home from my aunt's house and now she has a fever. We talked to the triage nurse again and decide she is probably fine, just an allergic reaction to her Easter dress. I got it from the resale shop and didn't wash it (mostly because it was linen and I didn't want to iron it - all those things God says about laziness in the Bible are true)
Monday 3/24 - I call the doctor tell them about the weekend and add her new issue, her eye was crusted shut when she woke up this morning. She says bring her in. So now, for the third Monday in a row we are at the doctor. She has pink eye. Seriously, I am expecting locusts or frogs next.
Tuesday 3/25 - Now we can't go to our friend's birthday party, we can't go to the gym, we probably infected most of the kids at church and we are watching boat loads of Sesame Street because we have to stay inside. I look forward to Thursday when she supposedly isn't contagious anymore and I hope Jeff and I don't get it.
Monday 3/17 - I feel crummy so I go to the doctor who does a quick return strep test which is negative, says I have a sinus infection and some "grossness on my tonsil". I leave with my prescription in hand and head home for lunch and nap time. Emmy's nose is still running so after nap time we go back to the doctor who says she needs another round of antibiotics. Okay, off to Target we go to fill our prescriptions and get started.
Tuesday 3/18 - Mom's birthday but oddly enough I don't realize it because when I set my watch for daylight savings time I must have screwed up the date so I think it is the 19. I feel better and Emmy's nose is still running. The doctor calls and my strep culture came back positive after they let it sit for awhile but I am on antibiotics so all is well.
Wednesday 3/19 - I host playgroup, it goes really well and it was so nice to talk to people again and just be around other moms.
Thursday 3/20 - I go in for a breast biopsy. I had gone to the doctor because I had a red spot on my right breast and she thought it was a clogged duct but ordered an ultrasound to be on the safe side. That detected a small nodule which looked benign so I had a mammogram. That detected the same nodule so we decided to remove it and look at it under a microscope to make sure it was benign. The hospital staff was so gracious and kind it was a complete answer to prayer. All of the doctors thought it was nothing to worry about but I get the official results sometime this week.
Friday 3/21 - Emmy's nose is still running and now her eye is goopy. We plug away with the antibiotics.
Saturday 3/22 - We were at the furniture mart and I was holding Emmy's hand. She wanted to go one way but I wouldn't let her so she stopped supporting her weight so I was basically holding her by her hand only. I heard two loud cracks and now she won't move her arm and she is crying pretty good. Crap, I broke her arm, what kind of mother am I?!?! We call the after hours nurse for our doctor, she says we should go to the hospital to have it looked at. She has what is called nursemaid's elbow which basically means she dislocated her elbow. It took us longer to fill out paperwork then it did for the delightful Dr. to fix it. We return home like nothing ever happened. The good news is I think I met our deductible with the breast biopsy so hopefully this little field trip will be free.
Sunday 3/23 - We all get fancied up and head off to Easter church. When I pick Emmy up from the nursery she is asleep on someone's lap. This is weird since it is 10:30 and she has been napping around noon. We get sleepy face home and change her clothes only to discover a big blotch on her should. We put her down for a nap and look it up on the internet and determine she has hives. When she gets up from her nap they are all over her back. I give her some Benadryl and they disappear in 15 minutes. She is a wet noodle most of the rest of the afternoon - except when we did an Easter egg hunt and she discovered the magic of jelly beans. We get home from my aunt's house and now she has a fever. We talked to the triage nurse again and decide she is probably fine, just an allergic reaction to her Easter dress. I got it from the resale shop and didn't wash it (mostly because it was linen and I didn't want to iron it - all those things God says about laziness in the Bible are true)
Monday 3/24 - I call the doctor tell them about the weekend and add her new issue, her eye was crusted shut when she woke up this morning. She says bring her in. So now, for the third Monday in a row we are at the doctor. She has pink eye. Seriously, I am expecting locusts or frogs next.
Tuesday 3/25 - Now we can't go to our friend's birthday party, we can't go to the gym, we probably infected most of the kids at church and we are watching boat loads of Sesame Street because we have to stay inside. I look forward to Thursday when she supposedly isn't contagious anymore and I hope Jeff and I don't get it.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Cooties
Man, it seems like every week one of us is sick and we are back in the rotation. The baby had slight sinus infection and ear infection but she seemed to be getting better until this weekend. We went through an entire box of kleenex wiping her nose. I took her back in yesterday and they said she is getting better but she will probably need a second dose of antibiotics. i tried grape bubble gum flavoring this time, maybe that will be better because plain bubble gum did not seem to make her more receptive to it. Then on Sunday I started with the sore throat and aches and chills - YUCK! Those were the exact symptoms Jeff had when we had strep throat so I went to the doctor. I have a sinus infection and the sore throat is from post nasal drip - yummy. I felt a little better yesterday afternoon but today i feel worse. Man alive I do not like being sick. At least now I can write on my resume never called in sick from this job.
So last week when I went to the doctor for her check up I got the normal handouts that say here are the milestones you should expect for this age, blah blah and one of them said she should be completely feeding herself by fifteen months. Well crap! She would take a spoon or fork I loaded and put it in her mouth but I didn't dare sit a bowl of something in front of her and let her go at it. She would starve. Apparently I was wrong. She did pretty well with the motion of putting the spoon in to something and putting it in her mouth. Things like oatmeal that stick to the spoon have been great, things like soup or yogurt have not been great. She turns the spoon upside down before putting it in her mouth. This is what a dish of yogurt looked like when she got done with it.
So last week when I went to the doctor for her check up I got the normal handouts that say here are the milestones you should expect for this age, blah blah and one of them said she should be completely feeding herself by fifteen months. Well crap! She would take a spoon or fork I loaded and put it in her mouth but I didn't dare sit a bowl of something in front of her and let her go at it. She would starve. Apparently I was wrong. She did pretty well with the motion of putting the spoon in to something and putting it in her mouth. Things like oatmeal that stick to the spoon have been great, things like soup or yogurt have not been great. She turns the spoon upside down before putting it in her mouth. This is what a dish of yogurt looked like when she got done with it.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Fifteen months is fun
Not everyday is fun but she is fun right now. It is like I can see her brain making connections. The other day I was cleaning our bedroom and bathroom and she was upstairs playing in my jewelry box. (This used to be one of my favorite things to do when I was a kid.) I gave her two bracelets and she put them on her arm and then walked around with her arm in the air so they wouldn't fall off. Today I blew her a kiss and she blew one back to me. She has full blown conversations with herself or other kids and she sounds so sincere. I can't understand what she is saying but her tone sounds just like a real person. It really is fun. She is having some sleep issues and we are trying to break away from the binky which is not fun, but for me, so far this is the best age. I think it has less to do with age and more to do with stage.
Her are some new pictures. Would you look at this little outfit we wore to church last week.
Seriously!
Clipping Coupons - I am starting her early
Pigtails... I could eat them up - so cute!
Her are some new pictures. Would you look at this little outfit we wore to church last week.
Seriously!
Clipping Coupons - I am starting her early
Pigtails... I could eat them up - so cute!
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Motherhood
Well, we are back from Minneapolis and I am actually appreciating the Omaha weather. Today was lovely. I put on my flip flops even though my toes were offended they were not given more notice to get ready for sandal weather.
This is an email I got from a friend and it cracked me up. It is so true.
Recently, I was diagnosed with C. A. A. D. D. - Child Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests:
I decide to do the laundry. As I start toward the basement, I notice that there are cheerios all over the floor and my house keys are in the cereal bowl. I decide to pick up the cheerios before I do the laundry. I lay my keys down on the counter, put the cheerios in the trash can under the counter, and notice that the trash can is full. So, I decide to take out the trash.
But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the trash I may as well pay the bills first. I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only one check left, my extra checks are in my desk in the office, so I go to my desk where I find a sippy cup full of juice. I'm going to look for my checks, but first I decide I should put the sippy cup in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the sippy cup a plant on the counter catches my eye--it needs to be watered. I set the sippy cup on the counter, and I discover baby wipes that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back in the bathroom, but first I'm going to water the plants. I set the wipes back down, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote, left on the kitchen table.
I realize that when I go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the plants. I splash some water on the plant, but most of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back down, get some paper towels and wipe up the spill. Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day: the laundry isn't washed, the bills aren't paid, there is a warm cup of juice sitting on the counter, the plants aren't watered, there is still only one check in my check book, I can't find the remote, I can't find the wipes, and I don't remember what I did with my keys.
Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired.
I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail. Do me a favor, will you? Forward this message, because I don't remember to whom it has been sent.
Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming.
This is an email I got from a friend and it cracked me up. It is so true.
Recently, I was diagnosed with C. A. A. D. D. - Child Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests:
I decide to do the laundry. As I start toward the basement, I notice that there are cheerios all over the floor and my house keys are in the cereal bowl. I decide to pick up the cheerios before I do the laundry. I lay my keys down on the counter, put the cheerios in the trash can under the counter, and notice that the trash can is full. So, I decide to take out the trash.
But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the trash I may as well pay the bills first. I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only one check left, my extra checks are in my desk in the office, so I go to my desk where I find a sippy cup full of juice. I'm going to look for my checks, but first I decide I should put the sippy cup in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the sippy cup a plant on the counter catches my eye--it needs to be watered. I set the sippy cup on the counter, and I discover baby wipes that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back in the bathroom, but first I'm going to water the plants. I set the wipes back down, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote, left on the kitchen table.
I realize that when I go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the plants. I splash some water on the plant, but most of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back down, get some paper towels and wipe up the spill. Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day: the laundry isn't washed, the bills aren't paid, there is a warm cup of juice sitting on the counter, the plants aren't watered, there is still only one check in my check book, I can't find the remote, I can't find the wipes, and I don't remember what I did with my keys.
Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired.
I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail. Do me a favor, will you? Forward this message, because I don't remember to whom it has been sent.
Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming.
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
Recycling
I decided to clean out the car and car seat while Miss Em is napping this morning and I swear I vacuumed up an entire box of Cheerios/Life Cereal. I really thought about scooping them all up by hand and putting them in a snack cup to be eaten later but I thought that might be a bit extreme.
By the way last night I had a dream involving John McCain, my eighth grade boyfriend, my mom, my high school boyfriend's mom and a car pool in New York City. Clearly the enchiladas for dinner did me wrong. : )
By the way last night I had a dream involving John McCain, my eighth grade boyfriend, my mom, my high school boyfriend's mom and a car pool in New York City. Clearly the enchiladas for dinner did me wrong. : )
Monday, March 03, 2008
Molars suck!
Yes, I know technically we need them to chew food and stuff but really must Emelia get all four of them at the same time. (Upon further reflection though this may be good because then we won't have to do this again.) The only thing that makes her happy right now is Sesame Street. I am sure I have already screwed her up by letting her watch TV so I might as well go all the way and allow a Sesame Street marathon.
An ode to Omaha's Weather
What a delight, Spring is finally in sight
No need to put on your mittens or bundle up tight
It is 60 outside, a good day for the park
Take advantage while you can, it may be a lark
The forecast for Sunday is forty degrees
That's not so bad, we still won't freeze
Off to church I go with just a warm sweater
The sun warms my face, I feel so much better
After the service the wind starts to pick up
It's really quite chilly, where's my warm coffee cup?
The weather man says we hit our high at eight
Soon the rain will start and snow is our fate
I don't understand, I just don't get it
One day was lovely, the next requires a jacket
I should be happy with the tiniest glimmer of spring
Because who knows what tomorrow will bring
No need to put on your mittens or bundle up tight
It is 60 outside, a good day for the park
Take advantage while you can, it may be a lark
The forecast for Sunday is forty degrees
That's not so bad, we still won't freeze
Off to church I go with just a warm sweater
The sun warms my face, I feel so much better
After the service the wind starts to pick up
It's really quite chilly, where's my warm coffee cup?
The weather man says we hit our high at eight
Soon the rain will start and snow is our fate
I don't understand, I just don't get it
One day was lovely, the next requires a jacket
I should be happy with the tiniest glimmer of spring
Because who knows what tomorrow will bring
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
The best husband
I really do have a great husband. For Valentine's day we decided not to get each other anything because money has been a little bit tight with paying two mortgages gas bills, etc. (We finally sold the house by the way - hooray!) So on Valentine's day he gave me a card with a note in it that said I needed to reserve the weekend of March 6-9. Well the other day he gave me the surprise. He has booked a weekend for us as a family in Minneapolis and he got me two prepaid Visa gift cards to spend at Mall of America. It was such a nice and thoughtful gift. We will get to see his sister and have time as a family and it will be nice because it has been a long time since I have bought anything for myself besides the occasional $6 clearance sweater at Target. I have already started making a list of the things I may buy with my gift card. He also got a gift card for the baby so I won't be tempted to spend my cards on her. (I do that a lot.)
In other news I scored at the resale shop - yes again. I have been looking for a Bounce and Spin Zebra ever since she rode it at a friend's house and loved it. I was ready to give in and buy a new one but it is really hard to spend $40 on a new toy. I found one at Once Upon a Child for $20. YAHOO!!! I wish I could find a good grown up resale shop. Maybe then I would wear something besides track suits.
In other news I scored at the resale shop - yes again. I have been looking for a Bounce and Spin Zebra ever since she rode it at a friend's house and loved it. I was ready to give in and buy a new one but it is really hard to spend $40 on a new toy. I found one at Once Upon a Child for $20. YAHOO!!! I wish I could find a good grown up resale shop. Maybe then I would wear something besides track suits.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Count your blessings
Howdy y'all, we are back from Texas and we had a great time. We did everything I wanted to do - hang out with good friends, go to Target and eat Chick-fil-A. The flights were so much better than I could have ever hoped for. God blessed us each step of the way. I often hear the phrase count your blessings, so I am going to...
1. I was able to have the car seat in a seat on each leg of the trip even though on my last (and longest) flight it meant an off-duty pilot sitting in the jump seat because the plane was completely full.
2. A really kind worker got me some milk for the baby so that I didn't have to try to stand in the really long line with a really short layover.
3. As I walked up to security in San Antonio they opened a new lane so there was no traffic trying to get through which was the only time I had to do it by myself.
4. The baby fussed for a total of about 20 minutes out of all of the flights. I sang her the theme to Elmo's World 50 times over and she calmed down but only as long as I was singing. Thank goodness we were sitting over the engines so my fellow flyers did not have to endure it.
5. We had a small delay in Dallas yesterday which allowed us time to get dinner, something I was concerned about.
6. Perfect strangers helped get my car seat on board on my two outbound flights.
7. Emelia charmed people every where we went which made people more compassionate toward our cause when we were boarding.
It really was great. Thank you for all of the prayers and tips. It turned out better than I could have hoped for. Since I failed to take the camera (big loser) I will have to post pictures when my friend sends me some.
1. I was able to have the car seat in a seat on each leg of the trip even though on my last (and longest) flight it meant an off-duty pilot sitting in the jump seat because the plane was completely full.
2. A really kind worker got me some milk for the baby so that I didn't have to try to stand in the really long line with a really short layover.
3. As I walked up to security in San Antonio they opened a new lane so there was no traffic trying to get through which was the only time I had to do it by myself.
4. The baby fussed for a total of about 20 minutes out of all of the flights. I sang her the theme to Elmo's World 50 times over and she calmed down but only as long as I was singing. Thank goodness we were sitting over the engines so my fellow flyers did not have to endure it.
5. We had a small delay in Dallas yesterday which allowed us time to get dinner, something I was concerned about.
6. Perfect strangers helped get my car seat on board on my two outbound flights.
7. Emelia charmed people every where we went which made people more compassionate toward our cause when we were boarding.
It really was great. Thank you for all of the prayers and tips. It turned out better than I could have hoped for. Since I failed to take the camera (big loser) I will have to post pictures when my friend sends me some.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Crazy Days
Yesterday I finally really felt better and went to the gym. An hour by myself out of the house felt like such a luxury. On the way home I realized that while I was sick I missed traffic school. CRAP!!!!! I called and they are going to be kind enough to let me make it up for another $98. Yuck, but what can I do. At least I won't have to take points on my license. Speaking of which I really need to get a Nebraska license. I will wait for a good hair day.
Speaking of good hair, Miss Thing had some serious bed head and I had to capture it on film. She also now enjoys playing peek a boo from behind the table, it is pretty darn cute.
Speaking of good hair, Miss Thing had some serious bed head and I had to capture it on film. She also now enjoys playing peek a boo from behind the table, it is pretty darn cute.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Where is the Lysol?
So on Friday Jeff went back to work and on Friday night I came down with a stomach bug. Started with the vomiting then moved on through so I didn't know which end to take care of. UGH! I just kept praying that the baby would be fine but on Saturday morning she threw up all over Jeff four times. God love him everytime she threw up he immediately threw the offending item in to the laundry. I think we did six loads of wash with three things in each load. Her beloved blankie got washed each time. : )
By Sunday we had stopped throwing up but we were all still tired. Apparently though Em got too much daytime sleep because this morning she woke up at 5:00. UGH again! Right now I feel like a zombie but I am hoping if I pretend like it is a normal day it will be a normal day.
Today more than anything I miss my mom. I think it is because when I was sick I just wanted my mom. I wanted to call her and say come take care of me and the baby. Give Jeff a break and I know she would have, even if it meant driving six hours. February 14 is the anniversary of her death and so this time of year is tough. It is difficult to accept that she is gone and hard for me to believe that it has been three years. I still get weepy a lot and I would have thought that would have gone away by now but I think it won't ever go away until I get to heaven and God takes the tears. I don't have a very clear picture of exactly what heaven is like so sometimes I anthropomorphize it and imagine my mom drinking coffee with my grandparents. Coffeetime was a good time around the house. It meant a warm cup of coffee or pop in a coffee mug for me and home made cookies. When we went to visit my grandparents that is a memory that is very clear for me. Sometimes I have trouble because I can still so vividly see how she looked when she was sick. The last days were so bad and she was not herself. She couldn't remember her birthday or where she was. At one point I heard her rummaging about at 4:00 in the morning and God love her she had gotten up and gotten herself dressed because she was convinced she was going to breakfast with my Aunt Marlene. The days leading up to February 14 feel sort of like Holy week for me. Each day I remember another thing about the time before her death. Then when I think of her actual death it is more of a joy because at the end I prayed for God to take her home because I knew she would never be well again.
Mommy I miss you so much and I wish you could see our baby girl. She is just like you, full of life and ready to go at 6:00 in the morning. You would have loved her mommy, we watch Sesame Street just like we used to and I can finally understand how you could love me so much. I am sorry for the times I broke your heart like when I was sixteen and when I got the tatoo. I was right though, the nurses in the hospital never did say anything about it when I had my baby, there was no need for you to worry, not one of them thought I was a biker. I love you mommy and I can't wait to see you again.
By Sunday we had stopped throwing up but we were all still tired. Apparently though Em got too much daytime sleep because this morning she woke up at 5:00. UGH again! Right now I feel like a zombie but I am hoping if I pretend like it is a normal day it will be a normal day.
Today more than anything I miss my mom. I think it is because when I was sick I just wanted my mom. I wanted to call her and say come take care of me and the baby. Give Jeff a break and I know she would have, even if it meant driving six hours. February 14 is the anniversary of her death and so this time of year is tough. It is difficult to accept that she is gone and hard for me to believe that it has been three years. I still get weepy a lot and I would have thought that would have gone away by now but I think it won't ever go away until I get to heaven and God takes the tears. I don't have a very clear picture of exactly what heaven is like so sometimes I anthropomorphize it and imagine my mom drinking coffee with my grandparents. Coffeetime was a good time around the house. It meant a warm cup of coffee or pop in a coffee mug for me and home made cookies. When we went to visit my grandparents that is a memory that is very clear for me. Sometimes I have trouble because I can still so vividly see how she looked when she was sick. The last days were so bad and she was not herself. She couldn't remember her birthday or where she was. At one point I heard her rummaging about at 4:00 in the morning and God love her she had gotten up and gotten herself dressed because she was convinced she was going to breakfast with my Aunt Marlene. The days leading up to February 14 feel sort of like Holy week for me. Each day I remember another thing about the time before her death. Then when I think of her actual death it is more of a joy because at the end I prayed for God to take her home because I knew she would never be well again.
Mommy I miss you so much and I wish you could see our baby girl. She is just like you, full of life and ready to go at 6:00 in the morning. You would have loved her mommy, we watch Sesame Street just like we used to and I can finally understand how you could love me so much. I am sorry for the times I broke your heart like when I was sixteen and when I got the tatoo. I was right though, the nurses in the hospital never did say anything about it when I had my baby, there was no need for you to worry, not one of them thought I was a biker. I love you mommy and I can't wait to see you again.
Thursday, February 07, 2008
Anxiety
I am going to visit a friend in Texas and I am having terrible anxiety about taking Emelia on the plane. I didn't buy a seat for her because it was pretty expensive but I am hoping the plane is not full and they will let me put my carseat in a seat next to me. She is so active I am not sure how I am going to keep her on my lap. Does any one have any thoughts on this subject? Please pray for me. I know it is going to suck I just hope it doesn't suck too bad.
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
What's worse
a husband with strep throat or 5 inches of snow? Poor Jeff is hardly ever sick but he came home yesterday just miserable and barely slept last night. Sent him to the doctor today and he came home with a "very positive" strep test and a prescription for the world's largest antibiotic. This means he is miserable and contagious so I have no baby backup. God bless Em she must have known and took a 2.5 hour nap today. Sweet baby girl is either thoughtful or on her way to getting sick. We will pretend she is thoughtful. Meanwhile it snowed all day yesterday which is no longer a big deal for me except when my dear husband can not shovel. I tried today but I pretty much suck at it.
I did busy myself during my snow day hanging new pictures. Here is my favorite one. This was taken at my friend's wedding and it captures the essence of our relationship.
I did busy myself during my snow day hanging new pictures. Here is my favorite one. This was taken at my friend's wedding and it captures the essence of our relationship.
Monday, February 04, 2008
I'm over it
I am done obsessing about the nap situation. It does no good and it makes me ugly to be around and not a good mommy. She will sleep when she sleeps, and if she doesn't we will do something else. The rest of the day will just need to be flexible until (if we ever do) get a handle on things.
Jeff said something to me yesterday that broke my heart. He said "it feels like I am as important as whether or not Emelia's clothes match." (We were late for church and I was deriding his choice of outfits for her instead of celebrating the fact that he dressed her at all.) Clearly I did not make the right choice in that situation. It is so easy for me to see now but in the moment it all feels so pressing and urgent. I think I am just a freak. We were talking about it and Jeff said try to focus on what is important and I said the problem is, to me everything is important. Then he made the comment about the matching clothes and I thought about how ridiculous that sounds.
I just pray that God will help me get past this perfect phase I am in and help me remember that the dishes are not as important as playtime. My relationship with my aerobics instructor is not as important as my relationship with my husband. My success in the eyes of others is not as important as my success in the eyes of my heavenly father.
Jeff said something to me yesterday that broke my heart. He said "it feels like I am as important as whether or not Emelia's clothes match." (We were late for church and I was deriding his choice of outfits for her instead of celebrating the fact that he dressed her at all.) Clearly I did not make the right choice in that situation. It is so easy for me to see now but in the moment it all feels so pressing and urgent. I think I am just a freak. We were talking about it and Jeff said try to focus on what is important and I said the problem is, to me everything is important. Then he made the comment about the matching clothes and I thought about how ridiculous that sounds.
I just pray that God will help me get past this perfect phase I am in and help me remember that the dishes are not as important as playtime. My relationship with my aerobics instructor is not as important as my relationship with my husband. My success in the eyes of others is not as important as my success in the eyes of my heavenly father.
Friday, February 01, 2008
To Nap or not to nap
I will tell you that for me the hardest part of being a mom is the change of routine. You see I am fairly type A, in the same way that the north pole is fairly cold. Because of that I like routine and so does my child. The last month or so has been a real trick because naptime and the delightful routine that went with it is gone. You see, she used to nap at 9:45 for an hour sometimes more and then again at 2:45 for about 45 minutes. Then she stopped wanting to go down for the afternoon nap or she just sat in her crib and talked to herself then worked up to crying until I came and got her. So I thought okay, maybe she is ready to transition to one nap. I tried moving her morning nap back in fifteen minute increments the way the book said and it seemed to be working for about two days. Then she didn't want to go down for a nap at all. So I have been struggling to figure it out and typically getting one 45 minute to hour long nap a day if I am lucky. In the meantime she is pretty fussy in the morning while I am at the gym. It is hard to know if that is because I am leaving her with childcare or what. i have often thought I should try to go back to a two nap schedule but then I say " nope, not going backwards." Well yesterday I gave in.
She fell asleep on the way home from the gym and so I drove downtown to meet Jeff for lunch so she got in an hour there. Then I put her down around 2:30 and she slept for about an hour. This morning I put her down at 9:30 and she slept for almost an hour and a half. I tried putting her down this afternoon and was unsuccessful, I tried again right now and she is till upstairs crying, we will see how long that lasts. I know she is tired as she fell asleep while I was reading to her but then cried as soon as I put her in the crib. UGH! The worst part is just not knowing what is the right thing for her. I suppose one day the worst thing will be knowing what the right thing for her is and having to watch as she does something different.
She fell asleep on the way home from the gym and so I drove downtown to meet Jeff for lunch so she got in an hour there. Then I put her down around 2:30 and she slept for about an hour. This morning I put her down at 9:30 and she slept for almost an hour and a half. I tried putting her down this afternoon and was unsuccessful, I tried again right now and she is till upstairs crying, we will see how long that lasts. I know she is tired as she fell asleep while I was reading to her but then cried as soon as I put her in the crib. UGH! The worst part is just not knowing what is the right thing for her. I suppose one day the worst thing will be knowing what the right thing for her is and having to watch as she does something different.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Omaha is not that bad
I have only just begun to watch the Omaha auditions on American Idol and I looked at Jeff and said, " no one is ever going to come visit us."
CHOICE
Ok, disclaimer, I have a lot of stuff rattling around inside my head and maybe 20 more minutes of nap to get it out. My spelling may be bad - it is actually my typing, I am a great speller and my grammar may be worse but this is important for me to put out there so you all can keep me accountable and I can come back and review.
I have had a very insightful weekend. I went to a women's conference at a church here with some friends and I learned a lot. Oddly enough what I learned was about men, mainly my husband but probably all men. I learned that my words are the most powerful device I have. Women in our society often grow up believing sex is their best weapon. Through no fault of my parents I certainly did and frankly it turned in to a weapon of mass desturction for me. In all actuality though our words are far more powerful than any of that craziness. Men want to be respected and my husband is no exception and yet so often I don't respect Jeff. Not because I don't actually respect him and not because I mean to be disrespectful, but mostly because I am frustrated about (fill in the balnk) and I need someone to take it out on and he is there. The baby and the dog have sometimes taken this role too but they are not as good since they don't talk back.
As I started to process what the speaker was saying the word choice came up a lot. She talked about choosing to see a disagreement not as right and wrong but simply a difference of opinion. At one point a women got up and asked what I was thinking. "Okay I get what you are saying, but what if he really is wrong?" I am known to be pretty stubborn and to almost always think my way is right which in turn means that every other way must be wrong. The speaker said that 95% of the time if you can take a step back and choose not to go down the path of right vs. wrong you will see it is just a different way of looking at something or doing something. That is so true especially for me. Usually the outcome I want to see is the same wether we use my way or Jeff's, but again, my way is right.
Not anymore.
The word choice played over and over again in my head and I realized that all of life is a choice. I have made some great choices - God, Jeff, all my friends, those awesome black and pink cowboy boots in 10th grade. I have also made some awful choices - alcohol, boys, the cut off jean shorts I wore with the awsome cowboy boots and mostly bitterness. If I choose to flip my perspectiive and keep hold of my blessings then the hostility can not take over. Yes we moved and yes it is cold and yes I have sad days but by and large I am tremendously blessed. It really is true that God times of trial t perfect your faith and teach perseverance, because honestly the time that my blessings were the clearest were in the days after my mother dies. When she died a part of me died and I missed her more than I can adequately express, I still do really, but I knew one day I would see her again and when I did she would have hair and she wouldn't be sick and we could eat french fries again. So if in the hardest days of my life I could find blessing then why can't I find it now? The answer is because I am choosing not to. I am choosing to give in to fear, doubt and self-pity.
Not anymore.
So I made myself an acronym because I like an acronym almost as much as I like a list. It is probably a little hoakie, but when things feel tense I can hear it in my head and hopefully I will make betters choices.
C -Capture
H - Hostility
O - Offer
I - Instead
C - Christ's
E - Endless Grace
If God can offer me grace after the countless bad choices I have made then I can certainly offer a sliver of grace to the people I love and care about.
Then Sunday came, yes all of this came bursting forth in one day. On Sunday we went back to the first chrch we had tried and I felt it. I felt that gentle vibration where my whole body says yes this is it. God took me to the other churches so I could find Holly and Stephanie and the gang that make me feel like a good mom and a real person. The sermon on Sunday was about the passage where Jesus washes the feet of the disciples. Jesus came to serve not to be served and then it hit me. I have been looking at a church and saying what does this church have to offer me? Are there women's ministries and mom activities and what about Jeff is their men's ministry thriving? What I should have been asking is what do I have for this church. Can my God given gifts have an impact at this church? God is funny like that. One day, one sermon and it all turns around.
God is good and I am thankful for the choices He gives me. I pray each day for the grace to make a better choice than I made the day before.
I have had a very insightful weekend. I went to a women's conference at a church here with some friends and I learned a lot. Oddly enough what I learned was about men, mainly my husband but probably all men. I learned that my words are the most powerful device I have. Women in our society often grow up believing sex is their best weapon. Through no fault of my parents I certainly did and frankly it turned in to a weapon of mass desturction for me. In all actuality though our words are far more powerful than any of that craziness. Men want to be respected and my husband is no exception and yet so often I don't respect Jeff. Not because I don't actually respect him and not because I mean to be disrespectful, but mostly because I am frustrated about (fill in the balnk) and I need someone to take it out on and he is there. The baby and the dog have sometimes taken this role too but they are not as good since they don't talk back.
As I started to process what the speaker was saying the word choice came up a lot. She talked about choosing to see a disagreement not as right and wrong but simply a difference of opinion. At one point a women got up and asked what I was thinking. "Okay I get what you are saying, but what if he really is wrong?" I am known to be pretty stubborn and to almost always think my way is right which in turn means that every other way must be wrong. The speaker said that 95% of the time if you can take a step back and choose not to go down the path of right vs. wrong you will see it is just a different way of looking at something or doing something. That is so true especially for me. Usually the outcome I want to see is the same wether we use my way or Jeff's, but again, my way is right.
Not anymore.
The word choice played over and over again in my head and I realized that all of life is a choice. I have made some great choices - God, Jeff, all my friends, those awesome black and pink cowboy boots in 10th grade. I have also made some awful choices - alcohol, boys, the cut off jean shorts I wore with the awsome cowboy boots and mostly bitterness. If I choose to flip my perspectiive and keep hold of my blessings then the hostility can not take over. Yes we moved and yes it is cold and yes I have sad days but by and large I am tremendously blessed. It really is true that God times of trial t perfect your faith and teach perseverance, because honestly the time that my blessings were the clearest were in the days after my mother dies. When she died a part of me died and I missed her more than I can adequately express, I still do really, but I knew one day I would see her again and when I did she would have hair and she wouldn't be sick and we could eat french fries again. So if in the hardest days of my life I could find blessing then why can't I find it now? The answer is because I am choosing not to. I am choosing to give in to fear, doubt and self-pity.
Not anymore.
So I made myself an acronym because I like an acronym almost as much as I like a list. It is probably a little hoakie, but when things feel tense I can hear it in my head and hopefully I will make betters choices.
C -Capture
H - Hostility
O - Offer
I - Instead
C - Christ's
E - Endless Grace
If God can offer me grace after the countless bad choices I have made then I can certainly offer a sliver of grace to the people I love and care about.
Then Sunday came, yes all of this came bursting forth in one day. On Sunday we went back to the first chrch we had tried and I felt it. I felt that gentle vibration where my whole body says yes this is it. God took me to the other churches so I could find Holly and Stephanie and the gang that make me feel like a good mom and a real person. The sermon on Sunday was about the passage where Jesus washes the feet of the disciples. Jesus came to serve not to be served and then it hit me. I have been looking at a church and saying what does this church have to offer me? Are there women's ministries and mom activities and what about Jeff is their men's ministry thriving? What I should have been asking is what do I have for this church. Can my God given gifts have an impact at this church? God is funny like that. One day, one sermon and it all turns around.
God is good and I am thankful for the choices He gives me. I pray each day for the grace to make a better choice than I made the day before.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
I just called to say I love you
at least I would if my phone was not dead and completely unresponsive to the charger. Devastated, that is the only word I can use to describe my feelings about it. My cell phone houses everyone's phone numbers and addresses. It also allows me to play solitaire while my child naps in a parking lot because she fell asleep on the way to or from somewhere. I have another cell phone I can use so I thought it would not be terrible because I figured I would just pop my SIM card in to the new phone and all of my info would come up. I was mistaken. I don't know why or if it is fixable and I am not certain what the solution is yet (short of asking everyone for their phone numbers and addresses but I refuse to think about inputting all of that all over again. Right now I am just in mourning for my phone. I really has a relationship with that phone. This weekend I may take it to Cingular and see if someone can revive it, I love it that much.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
No really, naps are for sissies
The Mochal house has been very busy. Jeff had a men's conference at church Friday evening and Saturday day. Then I had a friend in town Sunday and Monday and now we are settling back in to our normal routine - with one minor but important exception. We are not napping. I know you all must get tired of reading about my non-napping child. It is just so frustrating. You can be cruising along happily with somewhat of a routine intact and then wham, no routine, no nap, no sanity.
On the positive side, I had a great visit with my friend Korri. It was so nice to hang out with her and her daughter. I also got a great lamp at Hobby Lobby for $13 - and it came with a light bulb. I also took a water aerobics class today which was really fun. It was hard work. I was the youngest person in the class but it was nice because the teacher gives you three exertion levels so grandma Bea can take it easy and I can work harder in the hopes of looking good in my friends wedding.
Oh and another REALLY positive, I think we have sold the house in St. Louis and should be ready to close the book on that house. WOO HOO!!! I am not going to think to much about it until we sign the papers but then I will tell you all about it.
Okay, she looks tired, I am going to try some Elmo magic and see if she will sleep. Wish me well.
Here are some photos of the "no it is fine that I am not napping, who needs to nap?" face
On the positive side, I had a great visit with my friend Korri. It was so nice to hang out with her and her daughter. I also got a great lamp at Hobby Lobby for $13 - and it came with a light bulb. I also took a water aerobics class today which was really fun. It was hard work. I was the youngest person in the class but it was nice because the teacher gives you three exertion levels so grandma Bea can take it easy and I can work harder in the hopes of looking good in my friends wedding.
Oh and another REALLY positive, I think we have sold the house in St. Louis and should be ready to close the book on that house. WOO HOO!!! I am not going to think to much about it until we sign the papers but then I will tell you all about it.
Okay, she looks tired, I am going to try some Elmo magic and see if she will sleep. Wish me well.
Here are some photos of the "no it is fine that I am not napping, who needs to nap?" face
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