Make Way for Noddy

Jeff and I had a discussion the other night that, after further reflection, is ridiculous and warrants a blog entry. It went something like this...

Jeff - Emelia, did you fart?
Erika - Don't say fart say toot?
Jeff - What is wrong with fart?
Erika - It sounds harsh, and less palatable in public, so use toot.
Jeff - Whatever you say, but she is going to think Noddy is one gassy elf.


You see, Noddy is a PBS show we watch about an elf that lives in Toyland. The opening song goes "Make way for Noddy, he TOOTS his horn to say hooray."

Yes parenthood is one set of ridiculousness after another but I sure do laugh a lot.

Pure Joy

Emelia loves to swing. She would swing for an hour if I would push that long. Sometimes I even go to a playground that has no swings so she will try new things. The playground nearest our house has toddler swings which means no matter how far away we park the stroller/wagon/whatever she will walk right past every other slide/jungle gym/rock wall and head straight for the swings. Then I ask her if she wants to swing and she says "oh okay," like it was my idea.

The look on her face when I pull back the swing and let go is magical. She screams "weeeeee" and just lights up. Often as I watch her I think about how I wish I could experience that kind of joy but then today I realized I do... every time she gets on a swing.

In the routine of cooking dinners and scrubbing toilets I sometimes lose sight of the amazing blessing that I have in being able to be with her and watch her grow and play and learn new words. I take for granted the joy that watching her swing brings to me. Because I am human I miss working sometimes and I miss having colleagues and a sense of worth and importance but I know that I still have worth and importance just a different kind. I wish I could remember that all the time and be able to be fulfilled each day the way I am today. Alas, it is always a struggle but today I will celebrate a day off from that battle and I may even get on a swing myself.

Under the Weather

I'm not sure what that really means but I do sort of feel like I am under a rain cloud. I somehow have a cold in the middle of summer. I don't get it. Two days of staying home have been productive on the cleaning front but no fun on any other front. My bright spot is that So You Think You Can Dance is on and I can't wait.

Get your groove on....

Facebook

So I know I haven't posted anything lately and here is the reason why. FACEBOOK. When we came back from Penny's wedding I decided to get on it because my friend said it was great. Now I am addicted. I have found my college roommate, 20 of my 37 nieces and nephews and a myriad of high school and college acquaintances. What amazes me is how it finds people you know by studying people you have listed as friends. It is one big crazy mystery to me. i love it.

I am a big giant weirdo!


By the way we also went to Iowa this past weekend which is another reason I haven't posted. We tried to take a family photo, here is how it went down.

P.S. I got this photo from my niece's facebook page.

Murphy

Some of you know my dog Murphy. He is quite a character and is a proud member of our household which means he burps a lot, watches reality tv and loves ice cream and french fries. Well he recently got a hair cut and it is really quite funny. When he first got the hair cut I didn't even have the heart to take his picture because you could tell he was embarrassed. It has grown out a bit and he looks cute now so here is Murph before and after....

Super Summer Day

Today was a great day. We went to Costco and only bought what we went there for. (Miracle!) Then this afternoon we went to the pool. It was so much fun for all of us. Emelia even learned a new trick.

Daddy burped and said excuse me and Emelia now likes to make a burp noise and then says "cu me" she likes it even more when I say "excuuuuuuuuse you."

Great.

The Pros

I can't adequately describe how I feel right now. Joy is the word I come up with but that doesn't seem like enough. Emelia just gave me a big hug and announced "I wuv you." I have told her a million times that I love her and we practice saying I love you but she has never said it as a sentence or better yet a pronouncement. You see, she can't really talk, she can repeat words and she can identify simple things like dog and book but sentences are limited to repeating after me or Hi puppy. For her to, unprompted, tell me she loves me makes my heart soar. To know that she feels about me even a fraction of the way that I feel about her even though I fail her every day in some small way, is more than I can actually take in.

Thuy, this is the best pro for having kids, I am sorry I can't do it justice so you can know what it feels like but it honestly makes every pain, tear, sleepless night and cranky day worth it.

TV is weird

I am sure most of you know that Tim Russert died on Friday. He was a noted political analyst for NBC news and a favorite in the Mochal household. He was such a great commentator but he seemed like he could be your neighbor so his opinions were that much more relevant. He spoke in plain English and seemed like an overwhelmingly good guy. I have been really sad all weekend about his death. Yes, I realize that I don't actually know him so it is weird that I have been so upset about his death. I kept hearing about how strong his faith was so I hope to see him in heaven one day.

The thing that has been bugging me is it makes me think a lot about health issues in general. We have been working on eating better, eating more vegetables and what not but we struggle with exercise. I do better than Jeff because it is easier for me to carve out time since they have childcare at our gym. I worry about Jeff though. I just don't know where he can add exercise on a consistent basis in t o his schedule. God bless him he talks about working out in the evening but he really values that time with Em. Maybe we can try evening walks as a family or something. I don't know but I know God wants us to care for our bodies since they are the temple of the holy spirit, but I wish then that God would not have allowed french fries to be invented. I think I will start a new prayer campaign for Jeff's health. Sometimes I feel like I just hand God a laundry list of things that I am worried about but I am not sure how else to approach my prayer life. Does anyone have any tips or reference books to recommend? You know I like a good instruction manual.

Father's Day

Since today is Father's Day I shall compose a list of ten things I love about my dad and ten things Emelia loves about hers...

My Dad
1. He loves me no matter how many times I was a rebellious jerk in high school.
2. He has always been proud of me and probably always will be.
3. When he sees Emelia he wants to capture every smile in a picture.
4. He is not afraid to wear a Hawaiian print shirt.
5. Our relationship has been all over the map but we have come to the spot of loving each other and being comfortable in that love, no matter what.
6. He loves chain emails - that makes me laugh.
7. He put me through school.
8. When it rains anywhere in the midwest he calls to make sure we are okay - you can image the phone calls we have gotten with the rain/tornadoes/floods.
9. I am exactly like him and even when I wish I wasn't I am glad I at least know what makes me who I am.
10. He loves a good Disney movie just like me.

Emelia's Dad
1. He doesn't care how dirty I get or if my clothes match as long as we are together.
2. He lets me watch more Elmo than mommy.
3. He loves to take me places.
4. Mommy sometimes goes away to visit people and we have so much fun.
5. He plays "cut the pickle, tickle tickle tickle" with me.
6. He doesn't like it when I get shots.
7. He plays me lots of melancholy british rock songs from his iPod.
8. He plays with all my toys in the bathtub.
9. When we go to the park he will push me on the swings forever!
10. He is the best daddy in the whole world.

More fun than one girl should be allowed to have

My last two days have consisted of a two-hour trip to Super Walmart with a cranky toddler, a visit to the gynecologist and eight hours of traffic school. The only thing missing is a dentist appointment.

I did learn something interesting in traffic school though. Apparently the federal government gives out millions of dollars in "traffic enforcement grants" each spring to fund police overtime to catch speeders and other miscellaneous traffic hooligans. The average traffic school class size is 20, there were 70 people in my class today. Nothing says spring like a ticket!

I'm a good housekeeper I swear

We are very in to puzzles right now and this is what the living room looked like when Emelia went down for nap. Yes that is an outdoor toy in the living room because of the bad storms I brought them in last night, there is a slide behind the couch, don't look.

Are those the welcome home sirens?

Apparently no, they are the tornado sirens. We got back from LA on Monday night late and so I was just starting to get back in the swing of things yesterday and then we had a rough night. Bad storms kicked up right as we were putting the baby down for the night. Needless to say she didn't go to sleep and cried instead which turned out to be a blessing since we had to hightail it down to the basement a half hour later anyway.

My heart breaks for the parents of the boys killed at the boy scout camp. It must be so awful, you send your child off to summer camp and they never come home. I can't began to think about it. I just pray that they know the peace that only God can provide right now.

On a brighter note, our trip to LA was fun but trying. Emelia's schedule posed some challenges but she did great at the wedding. She LOVED the band and could not get enough of the music and dancing. The wedding was beautiful and went off without a hitch at least as far as I could tell. Penny looked amazing and we had good times together. I was so overcome with emotion to see her so happy. It was great!

I don't have any photos from the wedding but their photographer took some great ones. Here are some pics of us doing the tour of our LA faves - In N' Out, Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf and the pool.

Summer Lovin'

So I think it is officially summer, at least it feels like it around here. It is hot and sticky and we have a thunderstorm every three days. I think I was hoping since it was so much colder here during the winter it would also be cooler during the summer, I don't think that is the case.

We had a nice weekend, fairly uneventful. We had some friends over for a barbecue on Saturday and then went to the pool on Sunday. Emelia seemed to have a great time but the sun sucked the energy right out of her. She fell asleep sitting on Jeff's lap midway through eating a snack.

Penny is getting married this weekend in Southern California so we are getting ready for that trip. We leave on Thursday. It should be fun. I am much more relaxed about Emelia flying this time. Armed with the portable DVD player I think we can handle anything. I am hoping to get some fun new pictures while we are out there.

Things around here have been pretty mundane lately. I am grateful for that. I have begun to pray over Emelia while she sleeps. I also pray with her when she wakes up in the morning and as part of our nap/bedtime ritual. I have been reading the book "The New Strong Willed Child" (thank you Korri) which suggested the prayer while they sleep. I pray that God would not break her spirit but that he would bend her will to his and it really is working. Oh she still has tantrums and fusses but I am not seeing the outright defiance in her. I also feel like God is granting me more control over the feelings those tantrums bring up in me. I feel more contained and qualified to handle the situation.

I love her so much but she can make me madder than anyone else on earth. God is really working on me in that respect. I really am so grateful for it.

Severe Weather

So right now I am blogging to keep my imagination from running wild but I may be a little too late. All day the weather folks have been predicting "severe weather" which means strong winds, quarter size hail and tornadoes. I don't know why but I get really freaked out by this. If I stop to think about it I can rationally say if I die today I know I am going to heaven and heaven is way better than Omaha. (Not a knock on Omaha, just the truth) I am not afraid of death. I am afraid of other people that I care about dying and leaving me here. I am terribly afraid of losing people.

I also have visions of us all holed up in the basement with no water and no food and the house falling down around us. There is nothing in this house I cant live without. There isn't even really anything from a sentiment stand point that I would be devastated about but still, I do like my stuff, especially my Tivo.

I really am scared. I think now I will stop blogging and start praying.

My Best Friend's Wedding

My best friend since seventh grade is getting married on June 8th. I am so excited. I love her fiancee and I love them together. I can actually see how happy he makes her and how much he cares about her. I am in the wedding so we are off to California for the occasion.

I feel like I am packing for a year. Our bags weigh 47 and 39 pounds respectively. We have a stroller, car seat and two backpacks to carry on. Oh yeah and a toddler. Look out Expressjet, here we come. I am not too worried. The last time she flew she did great, then again, the last time she flew she still got a morning bottle and bink on demand. I do have the bink in the carryon for safe keeping but I don't plan to give it to her unless things get REALLY REALLY bad.

I feel prepared. The dress is altered, my hair is dyed (i am blonde again) the shoes have been purchased and most importantly i am ready to love on Penny and Alastair all weekend long! Woo hoo!

Dream Big

Okay so I know there are more important things in life than television and that goes double for "reality" television, but I am a sucker for an emotional moment. Last night's American Idol finale delivered for me. I LOVE David Cook. I love that he was unassuming, talented and a self-proclaimed "word nerd". I love a good come from behind story and I LOVE LOVE LOVE that he won!!!!!!! (Yes I am reduced to all caps and multiple exclamation points.) I have not pulled for someone on American Idol since Carrie Underwood. I have watched but not voted and on Tuesday I voted for an hour for David Cook fearing that really talented but irritating David Archuleta would win. I know he is great and I know he is sweet but for reasons I can't explain he makes me crazy. After Simon all but anointed him on Tuesday I knew I had to do my part or not complain about the results.

Jeff really had me going. We watched the finale off of the Tivo and he looked on the computer to see who won. When he told me the winner won by 12 million votes I knew it was Archuleta. There is no way that if Cook won he won by that much. I was in fact wrong, which only added to the drama!

Now on to So You Think You Can Dance which I also LOVE!!!!!!!!

Seriously?

So I went to the zoo on Friday with a new friend from church. We had a really nice time. The weather was lovely. On the way home Emelia conked out about one minute after we got in the car. I decided to drive out to Whole Foods. Bad decision. I was unfamiliar with teh highway because I was trying to navigate from downtown and thus I was paying close attention to teh street signs and not my speed. (Do you see where this is going?) You guessed it, I got another speeding ticket. By the grace of God - literally this one was in Douglas County while my other one was in Sarpy county so I think I am eligible fro traffic school again. This traffic school is cheaper but longer. I am not sure which is worse paying more money or spending four more hours in traffic school.

Poor Daddy

Emelia and I are looking at a Sesame Street book. I am asking her who each of the characters are... It goes something like this.

Point to a picture of Elmo, ask, who is that? EM-MO

Point to a picture of Big Bird, ask, who is that? Bi Berd

Point to a picture of Ernie, ask, who is that? Er rie

Point to a picture of Bert, ask , who is that? DADDY!!!!

Too little time too many teeth

We are teething again and I am reminded again, it stinks. Today went like this...

Walk around Walnut Creek Lake, thank God for the beauty of the day and the goodness of family and just general gratefulness. Get half way around the lake, stop at the playground, play, tell Emelia once more down the slide then we are going to go SHE LISTENS and we leave without freaking out. Spend more time thanking God. Get to the last stretch and she begins to fuss, get home, immediately down for a nap even though it is only 11:15. Okay fine. Take my lunch out in the back yard and sit in the sun reading a magazine. I almost felt like I was 14 again minus the baby oil and sun-in, LOVED it. Emelia wakes up, we go to the gym, I work out, still feeling good. Then WHAM, meltdown in Target, first public spanking. Let her sit in the cart for on minute time out while I was around the corner. Pick her up and tell her that I love her but that she can't scream when she doesn't get her way and she definitely can't kick mommy. She gives me a hug, I congratulate myself for handling that well and then she freaks out again. We leave. I want to drive off a cliff. Instead I drive to Marshalls because I need her to be contained for awhile while I get my emotions in check. We were trying to go t o teh mall because it is farther away but my bladder couldn't hold out. Have a fun time at Marshalls and try to remember for next time "this too shall pass."

Tough Week, Great Weekend

So it has been a little bit of a tough week at our house. I was super busy getting the house ready for another round of visitors plus we painted a couple of the rooms so there is all of the furniture moving that goes along with that. On top of everything else things have been a little strained between Jeff and I. Money has been tight because we basically had to pay for my biopsy out of pocket because we have a pretty high deductible for our insurance. (Our insurance is good but the deductible is high but they give you money towards the deductible but it comes over the course of the year which doesn't help when you have a 4,000 biopsy in March.)

In addition to being a little stressed about money I haven't been sleeping well. I haven't really slept well since I stopped nursing Emelia in February. The doctor prescribed Ambien which was great but you can't stay on it forever so I slowly weaned myself from it and now basically I fall asleep but wake up around 12:00 and can't get back to sleep until 2:00. Then I sleep pretty good until 4:00 and then I toss and turn for another couple hours and then I get up. Needless to say not getting enough sleep makes for a very cranky girl. I am not sure how, but I actually felt like I was sleeping better when she was a new born. On top of all of this I haven't been exercising consistently which makes me feel like a sloth and I have been eating crap. So I just felt off. On Saturday I woke up feeling like the weight of the world was on my shoulders. I am not sure why but I needed to tackle grocery shopping and with food being so expensive, I knew I was going to have to keep a tight reign on things to get through the pay period. I pretty much had a panic attack in Wal-Mart. There were so many people and I just felt like I was going to throw up constantly. When I finally left I couldn't remember where I parked so I couldn't find my car. When I found it I got in in and sobbed. I felt like I couldn't get it together and I felt like Jeff didn't care and I felt unloved and I felt overwhelmed and I felt like the world was getting really small around me.

When I got home I talked to Jeff about it and we had a really good talk. Neither of us was feeling supported and both of us were feeling unloved and it was quietly breaking us down a little at a time. God really worked things out for us because normally when I am that worked up I am really ugly and then Jeff shuts down and we end up going nowhere fast. We were both able to keep our head and heart in the conversation and talk about how we were feeling and how to get through it. I felt like a new woman. The rest of the weekend was really good. We went for walks and played in the park and sat out in the back yard in the sunshine reading and talking.

I know this is a pretty personal thing to write about but I really don't want to forget how scared and terrible I felt Saturday morning and how alive and restored I felt Saturday afternoon. I want to remember God's power so that the next time I am in the valley I don't try to "get myself together" when I should be asking God to get me together.