I'm over it

I am done obsessing about the nap situation. It does no good and it makes me ugly to be around and not a good mommy. She will sleep when she sleeps, and if she doesn't we will do something else. The rest of the day will just need to be flexible until (if we ever do) get a handle on things.

Jeff said something to me yesterday that broke my heart. He said "it feels like I am as important as whether or not Emelia's clothes match." (We were late for church and I was deriding his choice of outfits for her instead of celebrating the fact that he dressed her at all.) Clearly I did not make the right choice in that situation. It is so easy for me to see now but in the moment it all feels so pressing and urgent. I think I am just a freak. We were talking about it and Jeff said try to focus on what is important and I said the problem is, to me everything is important. Then he made the comment about the matching clothes and I thought about how ridiculous that sounds.

I just pray that God will help me get past this perfect phase I am in and help me remember that the dishes are not as important as playtime. My relationship with my aerobics instructor is not as important as my relationship with my husband. My success in the eyes of others is not as important as my success in the eyes of my heavenly father.