Emelia is currently marching around the house in her pajamas and a crown singing "I am a rock star". Awesome!
So today I wanted to write down some thoughts on parenting that I thought about when I was up at 5:30 feeding Sam.
Parenting is hard. True, it is rewarding but it is hard and I don't think as a society we talk about it enough. One child is tough but two children is not two times as hard it is five times as hard and no one talks about it. When I was pregnant people would tell me that I had no idea what I was in for but that was just ominous, not informative. I often ask my friends who have multiple children why no one talks about the trials of parenthood and they always say no one wants to scare people. I say scare away! A little population control would not hurt anyone! (Just kidding!) I understand their point but there has to be a way to say this is difficult, and when it gets really hard and overwhelming, know that you are not the only one who thinks that. I think that feeling of isolation contributes to the difficulty of having two or more kids. I think Satan works in that isolation. He plants seeds of doubt and dissension in your head. "You are the only one who can't handle this." "No one else would understand because they have good kids." "You are a terrible mother, how can you even think that you don't like your kids?" Those thoughts fly through your head and you don't have enough wisdom or sleep to be able to process them as the lies that they are. These thoughts start to pile up and then you can not get out from under them without a complete breakdown/breakthrough. I have found that when I have a complete melt down I usually break through to a new level of understanding either about God's mercies or my own need for grace and love.
I, for one, am happy to talk about how hard it is so that other moms don't think they are crazy. To quote my favorite yoda mom (I will call her Q - like Q in the James Bond movies, she gives me the tools and the tricks to navigate my job.) "Sometimes you just need someone to sit on the porch next to you and tell you that you are not crazy." I want to be that someone for other moms. So for my friends who are new moms, new second time moms, etc. I am coming to your porch sister!
2 comments:
I really liked this post.
I think you are a rock star mom, wife, and friend!!!
So true! It helps to have support groups and friends who can help each other out. And totally agree, people tend to only want to talk about how great being a mom is. And it is the wonderful. But a little info on the not so great things would be much more helpful. I found talking bluntly with twin moms really helped me the second time around. Would have been lost without them.
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