Seven Years

Yesterday was my seven year wedding anniversary. Some days it feels like Jeff and I have been married forever and some days it feels like we got married yesterday. Last night Jeff and I went out to dinner and we were talking about the last seven years. Here is what we came up with.

We have...
lived in three different states
adopted two pets
lost his brother and my mom
had a baby
and loved and supported each other through it all.

Here's to more years like the last seven (no more pets though.)

Goosebumps

Last night I watched our country nominate the first African American for president. It was amazing. Most of you know I am a democrat and many of you are Republicans but I believe this historic night is bigger than party affiliation. I can remember sitting in a co-workers office in 2004 and her talking about how she hated Hillary and hoped that Colin Powell would run as a Repub. against her is she ever ran for president. Then she said "our country would never elect a black man president though." Well, he isn't president, but the fact that he is a major party candidate is pretty darn exciting.

In college I was really liberal (I actually majored in journalism and minored in Women's studies) and as I have gotten older I have gotten less liberal but am still a democrat. I have not been this in to an election since Bill Clinton in 1992. That year I was a freshmen who thought Cal State Northridge was Berkley circa 1964 and I went to rallies and protest and wore slogan buttons on my backpack while wearing my flannel shirts and boots. I was a card carrying member of NOW and had a subscription to Ms. magazine. This year some of my ideals have changed and my entire way of life has really changed but I am excited about the sense of optimism that I have. More important than Republican or Democrat is the ability to recognize what a historic achievement this is for Barack Obama but also for us as a nation.

The only bad news in all of this is that coming off the Olympic late nights I am struggling with the political late nights and as much as I would like to I don't think I can handle another week of 11:00 bed times. Sorry Senator McCain.

Help for a friend

My friend Stephanie is making a super cool present for her husband for Christmas and she is trying to collect license plates from all 50 states. Since my favorites blog readers live all over I thought I would pass on the list of states she still needs. If you have any of these license plates or have a legal way of obtaining them please let me know.

Thanks!
laska Arkansas Connecticut Delaware Florida Hawaii
Idaho Illinois Indiana Iowa Kentucky Louisiana
Maine Maryland Massachusetts Michigan Mississippi Nebraska
Nevada New Hampshire New Jersey New Mexico New York North Carolina
North Dakota Ohio Oklahoma Pennsylvania Rhode Island
South Carolina South Dakota Tennessee Texas Utah
Vermont Virginia Washington Wyoming


In other news...

It finally happened. I had to resort to dinner plan B. You see I always keep a frozen pizza in the freezer in case whatever new recipe I am tinkering with turns out gross. Last night we had to use the pizza. I made a dish called ham and swiss crockpot chicken. I had made it before and it was great, it wasn't much to look at but it tasted good. Someone gave me the idea to try baking it to make it less mushy, so I did. The problem is she didn't give me exact directions and I forgot an ingredient and well it was a mess. The breading was mushy, the chicken was raw it was a night for the frozen pizza. God bless plan B.

Neglected part 2

So let's see what have I been up to. Oh yes, obsessing over the Olympics. I love them. You see I enjoy sports but mostly I enjoy the emotion of sports. I like basketball, but I LOVE March madness because it is so exciting... the thrill of victory, the Cinderella school, the agony of defeat, the buzzer beaters, all of it. The Olympics are like that. Everyone works so hard for 30 seconds of a race potentially. I was glued to Michael Phelps and so glad he is not as punk youth as he was in Athens. I LOVED the opening ceremony. As a total type A I have such appreciation for the precision and planning that went in to all of the amazing spectacles. Yes it is a bit weird that table tennis and BMX biking are Olympic sports but have it China get you some medals. I did read a funny article in Time by Joel Stein saying e wanted to change the Olympic scoring and have points based on how fit you have to be to compete in your selected sport. Badminton, not so much.

I have also been very busy having tea with Emelia. She got a tea set (porcelain - I mean really) from my aunt who insists she play with it. (We are down to one cup and four plates that have not been broken.) Anyway, when she hands me a cup of tea I pretend to drink it and tell her it is delicious. She loves it! Her new word is delicious. Everything is delicious. Wrapping up in the doormat - delicious, washing her hair - delicious, daddy - delicious. It cracks me up.

On another positive note this weekend Old Navy had jeans for $12. It was total chaos but in a "I am getting a freakin' bargain" good way. I tried on jeans and discovered I have dropped two sizes since last fall. I almost dies. When I zipped up the size tens I cried in the dressing room and just praised God for that moment. I felt so good about myself. Not because of the size of the jeans but because I made a commitment and stuck to it and I am seeing progress. I am sure some of you can't believe I would post my jean size on the internet or that I am happy about a size ten because I know some folks would sooner die then wear a double digit size but I finally feel free from my consuming body image issues. It has been a long time coming and I still would like to look like Gabrielle Reece but I am ok with who and what I am.

To round out what has been on my mind lately I will finish with my mom. I have had several dreams about her lately and I have struggled with feeling a little lost and a lot sad. We sang a song in church about how anything is possible with Jesus and He is the ultimate healer and I couldn't help but think why didn't you heal my mom. Why couldn't she have stayed here. I know she is in a better place and I know we all have to die and I know one day I will see her again, but right now I wish I could see her now and ask her all the parenting questions I have stored up. I wish she would come visit and hold on tight to her grandbaby and be so excited that Emelia has learned to say Grammy. I just want her back that's all.

Okay blog, now we are caught up and it is time to make dinner. I think I will treat myself to a glass of wine because I have gotten a lot done today. Yea for me!

So neglectful

Dear blog:

I am sorry I have neglected you so lately. Between the volunteer work I am doing for church and the Olympics I have hardly had time to be on the computer. Don't be offended that I like reading other people's blog's more than I like writing in my own. I am just nosy that way. I promise this afternoon I will pay some good quality attention to you. I will write about my Olympic Fever and about the size 10 jeans I bought from Old Navy. (I know blog, I was super excited too!) I will write about Emelia's new favorite word - delicious and about the struggles I have been having with missing my mom. I promise blog I will fill you in on all of that, but right now I have to compile a data base for church and watch the closing ceremonies off the Tivo!

Love, Mama

My husband rocks!

Why you may ask? Well for many reasons but specifically I am talking about his lack of fear when it comes to Emelia.

We live near an air force base and the air show is this weekend. Emelia loves airplanes. I am pretty sure Jeff does too as long as he doesn't have to fly in them. (The irony of his love of airplanes and fear of flying is not lost on me!) We talked about taking her to the air show and I was not convinced it would be a good idea, big crowds, restless toddler, potential for interfering with nap time, etc. We were debating. Then yesterday I said, I don't really want to go to the air show. Jeff said well why don't I take Emelia and you can do whatever you want. I practically couldn't breathe - DO WHATEVER I WANT?!?!?!? You see I often get time to myself but it is usually planned in advance and has a schedule worthy of a drill sergeant because I am doing things that are easier without a toddler - grocery shopping for instance. But this, this would be different it would be spontaneous free time to wander about aimlessly drinking coffee all morning and maybe going to the mall. All because my husband is going to take a 20 month old girl to see airplanes. I have packed a backpack that would serve them well if they were stranded on a desert island and I have given him every tip I know. I even armed him with a sucker. (The best offense is a good defense, you know.) He just smiled and shrugged it off because he will figure it out. Lord almighty he is amazing - so mellow, so in love with his baby and so good to his wife. Thank you Lord Jesus for this man. Now I am off to go to the mall and Starbucks, probably twice.

The Reformer

I have been up since 5:30 and now I can barely walk. My gym is offering free pilates reformer classes this week while they refinish the group exercise floor. Normally you have to pay extra for this kind of torture. So I decided to try something new. I REALLY did not want to get out of bed this morning because I stayed up late last night watching the Olympics. (I love them by the way but that is another post.) Then I thought, this poor teacher has to get up so I need to honor the commitment I made by signing up.

It was only a half hour class, but man, my muscles were shaking so bad when I left that I was worried about driving home. It was a pretty darn good work out for a half hour. I don't know how many calories I burned which is my standard for a good work out (how many extra snacks do I get for this time spent at the gym) but I certainly feel stronger and my posture seems better already. I am not ready to pay extra for it but I did sign up for another free class on Wednesday.

God is good

He is good for a lot of reasons but today I am specifically talking about my new found food peace. I can't really explain it but I suddenly am just okay with whatever Emelia eats. When I look at most days I know she is doing well in most areas except vegetables. I sneak them in where I can and I am just not freaking out about the fact that she doesn't eat much dinner.

I have just been enlightened with perspective. She never ate much in the evening, even when she was a teeny nursing baby. She always woke up ravenous and still does. This week she has eaten three vegetables. We had sweet potato pancakes, cauliflower mashed potatoes and a teeny bit of spinach in our scrambled eggs. (There will be more in there next time.) I want her to enjoy food but not need it for comfort or reward so that is what I am focusing on. We will see how it goes. Check back in ten years and I will let you know how it turns out.

Holy Hot Dog!!!

I just saw the trailer for High School Musical 3 and I almost passed out with anticipation. October 24 can not get here soon enough. I may have to plan a trip to Bloomtown to see it with my cousins kids because I am pretty sure people would be creeped out when a 34 year old strolls in to the movie solo. I love the HSM franchise. It is like Grease but cleaner more wholesome and with Zac Efron. I heart him! Wow oh wow, I am freaking out, I can't wait!

Ahh, it is that time of year

Today is a great day. Yes it was 99 degrees here today and yes my daughter was a bit fussy but who cares, today is the first preseason NFL game. I know that it is basically no one vs. no one because after the first possession each team puts in their scrubs, but who cares, it is football and I love it! I have always liked football. My mom liked football for some reason and we used to root for the Cowboys - I still do. As I got older and dated boys who liked sports I got more in to sports. I have ZERO athletic ability but I like to watch most sports. I love baseball, like basketball and tolerate baseball. (Baseball is better in person with a beer and a hot dog.)

Football is just good and I will happily spend every Sunday until February watching football and eating bean dip. (Note to self, add 40 more minutes of cardio a week) Here is a list of things I love about football.

1. It moves fast and is pretty much constantly exciting.
2. John Madden and Al Michaels
3. When they play in throw-back unis
4. The grandstanding, except for T. O. and Chad Johnson - they are just annoying and I will never forgive T.O. for standing on the star when he was a 49er - I cursed him that day.
5. Football food
6. NFL Sunday ticket on DirecTV
7. The kicker - don't ask me why but I love a good kicker, no one pays attention to them until the final seconds
8. A two-point conversion
9. A good trick play
10. The rerun of the Stanford band almost getting killed that they inevitably play once a year.

Slow Down

I was doing a quick skim of the headlines on Yahoo and come across this one.

IAEA board considering Indian nuclear agreement

I thought, that is weird, what does IKEA have to do with India's nuclear arsenal.

Clearly I need to slow down and actually read not just skim.

Deep breaths and Bible reading

Thanks for everyone's support on the toddler eating front. I am working hard on letting it go and knowing that she will be fine without my cheesy chicken and noodles. I try to approach dinner with lots of deep breathes and a quick Bible verse to remind me that God is in control, not me. Plus last night I laced her mashed potatoes with cauliflower, take that picky baby! : )

I think she knew I was feeling exasperated because yesterday she was extra cute and funny. We were in Target and I asked her to sit down in the cart. She looked at me started to sit but never actually put her bottom down. I said "Oh, really" and she looked at me and said "really." I had to laugh. She sat the rest of the trip squatted down like a little kung fu baby in the front of the cart.

By the way, my Target has the big box of pampers on clearance. There is also a coupon expiring today for $5 off diapers and wipes at www.afullcup.com under the section marked Target coupon generator. If you combine it with the $1.50 off coupon from this past Sunday's papers it is a little like stealing from Target! : ) I will confess I have bought 500 diapers in the last week using coupons and the clearance deal.

Emelia is also really funny lately with her word choices. Wen she sees something she likes she says " Oh Wow! look at that!" she says this every morning when she sees her cereal bowl, when I turn on sesame street and when we see a car cart at the grocery store. Oh to be that excited all the time.

I lost it

I am sure I have written before about how crazy it makes me when Emelia won't eat. I have issues with my child and food. I have bad eating habits that I picked up early on and have struggled with being happy with my body for many years and I really don't want her to have that same issue. I read all this stuff about how her eating habits are formed by the time she is two and I get freaked out because all she ate today is cheerios and veggie puffs with a small side of yogurt and grapes. Lately she has had a real fondness for sugar and a real disdain for any sort of real food. Tonight she wouldn't eat the cheesy chicken and noodles I made her. What is not to like about that?

She wouldn't eat it and I tried to make her at least take a bite. She wouldn't. Jeff told me to let it go and I flipped out. I yelled at him, I cursed - in front of my child - and I stormed upstairs. I can't believe I am even writing this because I am so embarrassed. I think I do it for some form of self-inflicted punishment. I apologized to Jeff but of course he is not quick to thaw as I yelled at him. My child is sleeping and, God love her, she is quick to forgive and gave me a delicious goodnight hug and kiss.

Why does this particular issue make me so crazy? Why am I foisting my insecurities on to her? Will she be an obese kid at ten if she only eats cheerios today? I wish I knew the answers to all of these questions but more than anything I wish I could just let it go.

Time to change the profile

So today I am 34. It doesn't feel any different then 33 which quite honestly doesn't feel any different than say 27. I was chatting with my niece this weekend about leaving for college. I told her I don't feel that far removed from college even though it has been 10+ years since I was in college. Maybe I am just fooling myself but I still feel pretty youthful, smarter but youthful.

Someone recently made the comment that I have lived a lot of life for being 33 and I sort of agree with that and yet all of the aspects of my life still seem so vivid to me. I don't feel old but I do feel older. I like where I am. My life is good and I feel blessed.

I Love Sesame Street

I have very vivid memories of watching Sesame Street when I was little. I went to morning kindergarten and when I came home I got to eat my lunch on this little kitchen step stool (I used it as a picnic table) and watch Sesame Street. I started letting Emelia watch it awhile back even though the American Academy of Pediatrics says they don't need TV until they are two. I believe they are correct, they don't need TV, I need TV. I need a chance to clean the toilets without her trying to lick the toilet brush, etc. So hard as it was, I broke the rules, You know I like rules. I am glad I did.

Today Emelia counted to 20 with Ernie on Sessy , as we call it here. She also knows all of her letters. I am not proclaiming her a child prodigy, I just think she has a good memory and watches a lot of Sesame street!

City Girl

My parents are both from small towns in Iowa, my mom is from a REALLY small town in Iowa called Gilmore City. I think the population is like 500 counting the livestock. This weekend Gilmore City turned 125 so my whole family trekked over there to watch the "parade" (I use the term loosely) and hang out together. I forgot about the dog so Jeff got a boys weekend to see the new Batman movie and mow the grass. Emelia and I set out to reclaim our heritage. I have never enjoyed Gilmore City so much.

You see when I was a kid we went to Gilmore most summers for vacation. I never went to Disneyworld, I went to Iowa. I pretty much hated it after the age of eight. Everyone that lived there was slow, cars moved slow, life moved slow - I was all about moving fast. When I was a rebellious, super-cool teenager I remember feeling like a fish out of water and loving it. I delighted in shocking my family. The crazier my hair, the better. You hate my clothes, great! One Christmas we went home and I was reading the Autobiography of Malcolm X and wearing cowboy boots and my grandma about crapped. I was thrilled.

Here I am 15 years later and I have a new appreciation for small town life. It does move slowly and there is nothing wrong with that. People know their neighbors, in a real way, not in a pleasant conversation at the community mail box sort of way. That was very evident to me this weekend. After the parade, the Lions club served lunch for a free will offering. I bet I saw every person put in a $20 and these aren't rich folks but they believe in the Lion's club and they are thankful for a home cooked lunch. Lunch included a slice of homemade pie and a scoop of homemade ice cream. The women of Gilmore City must have baked 100 pies. No one knew me because my mom is gone and my grandparents are too so there was no way to connect me to Gilmore but when my aunt said I was Carolyn's daughter they instantly knew me. I loved being known only through my mom. She would have loved that Emelia and I went and ate blueberry pie on the lawn of the church where she was baptized, confirmed and married. I felt like for just a day everything was right and I had been so wrong.

My cousin brought a bag to collect candy thrown from the floats, Emelia loved it! The church had a little kiddie carnival, this is Emelia's version of the ring toss. At one point I looked up and she had stolen the ring. Great, my kid is stealing from the church carnival!

Parenting Lessons

This week I am getting yet another lesson in parenting taught by professor Emelia Mae. As a child grows they are continuously going through new phases. When they are in a tough phase you console yourself with the mantra that this too shall pass. The tough thing for me is that wen she is in a good phase I settle in to it like a pair of old slippers. I start to subconsciously think look at how nice this is, I must be a good parent look at how good she is. Then when she leaves that phase behind in favor of the "NO!!!!" phase it crushes my spirit. That is the only way I can describe how I have been feeling this week.

Last week she was saying please and thank you without being prompted and coming up to give spontaneous hugs. This week she is yelling "No!" at the top of her lungs to most requests. We are in a power struggle right now and I fear I may be losing. I am trying desperately to stay calm, be consistent and measure out praise and time outs with authority but I still feel like I am sucking at this. You see that is the hard part for me. I am used to being pretty good at things. Don't get me wrong there are definitely things I am not good at but for the most part I know my limitations and I avoid those things. I have never felt so completely inept in my entire life. I feel like I have no knowledge in this area and worse yet I have nothing to compensate for it. You see I worked for a client most of my life and there were certainly times when I didn't know the answer but I could usually rely on wit or charm or some bs memo to smooth the waters until I could figure things out. The Bible is right "charm is fleeting" because it certainly doesn't work on Emelia unless it is coming from ELMO. It is really hard to spend your day feeling inadequate and then to go to bed knowing tomorrow is going to be the same way.

I was really struggling at the beginning of the week but God has graciously provided other mothers to help me along the way. I had a minor melt down at my women's Bible study this week and instead of feeling judged or silly I felt embraced and comforted knowing every other mom there fessed up to having similar feelings. I also went to the library and checked out 8 books on parenting. From what I have read it seem like t his is a tough age, you may have heard of it, "the terrible twos". Yes, it seems as though we have landed smack dab in the middle of budding independence. I will try really hard to learn form this time and know that it will pass. She isn't going to be my baby forever and I will try to just enjoy the cuddling I get because I know when she does this again at 13 the cuddles will be few and far between.

Mommy and the Seven Dwarfs

Emelia is either teething, entering some new not so nice stage or schizophrenic. This weekend I think she acted like just about every one of the seven dwarfs but she spent an inordinate amount of time being grumpy.

My delightful husband took crabby appleton for a few hours so I could get a pedicure. Man I use to really take those things for granted. When we both worked I got them pretty regularly but they are more of a luxury nowadays and man do I enjoy the heck out of them. The girl even talked me in to getting flowers for my toes. I can hardly stop staring at them.




After my pedicure puppy and I enjoyed some quality relaxation!

Over It

So now I am done with vacay planning. We could go to Turks and Caicos potentially, to a Sesame Street themed Beaches resort or to Disneyworld but it is all so expensive. Jeff needs a vacation and I need a vacation for vacation planning. We want a luxury resort beach vibe but don't know where to really get it outside of the Caribbean/Hawaii. Now I shall go to bed and dream about people from high school again - three nights in a row this week.. Darn that Facebook.

Obsess much?

Oh yes I do. Right now i am obsessed with planning a vacation. I swear I have done NOTHING all day but look at Disneyworld vacations online. I want to go NOW!!!! I love Disney and while I say this will be great for Emelia it will really be great for me. seriously though there are 7 million options for how to plan it. Yikes!